Penny: Hi. We're Raj's friends. I'm Penny. This is Bernadette. We just came by to introduce ourselves.
Anu: So you came to check me out?
Penny: She's smart. I like her.

Penny: We just want to see if we could take you to dinner and get to know you a bit.
Anu: That sounds nice. How about tonight after work? Maybe we can go to Bavel.
Penny: Oh, I wish. That place is impossible to get into.
Anu: Oh, please. Getting into impossible places is my superpower.
Bernadette: Me, too. I can fit my whole body in our dryer.

Bernadette: She can get into any restaurant, but the best husband she can find is Raj?

Leonard: Tam Nguyen?
Tam: Yes. Is my son done with his tour?
Howard: No idea. We're actually friends of Sheldon Cooper.
Tam: Oh, I've been trying to get in touch with him, but I never heard back. Is he okay?
Leonard: Well, if you mean physically, yes.
Howard: If you mean every other way, no.

Tam: So, is he here?
Leonard: Uh, no. He didn't come. He's, uh, he's still pretty upset about ... you know.
Tam: I know what?
Leonard: Come on, you-you must know.
Tam: No, we haven't talked in, like, 20 years.
Howard: Right. Because ... you know.
Raj: I don't think he knows.
Tam: What are you guys talking about?
Leonard: Why did you and Sheldon stop being friends? What did you do?
Raj: And don't worry, even though we just met you, we think you're right and he's wrong.

Tam: Sheldon! So good to see you!
Sheldon: Tam.
Tam: It's been a long time.
Sheldon: Mm, not long enough to erase the sting of betrayal.
Tam: How did I betray you?
Sheldon: You know what you did.
Raj: Uh, let me catch you up. He does not.

Sheldon: When I moved to California, what did you do?
Tam: I stayed in Texas.
Sheldon: Do you believe this guy?!

Howard: So, he was your best friend growing up?
Tam: Yes.
Howard: Were there no other kids in Texas?

Leonard: What is going on with you?
Sheldon: I don't want to talk about it.
Leonard: Well, I'm sure you have a perfectly stupid reason.
Sheldon: I don't do anything for a stupid reason. Except, perhaps, Talk Like a Pirate Day, and I'd argue that's more whimsical than stupid.

Leonard: You know, I was curious to find out what Tam had done wrong. Why am I not surprised the answer is nothing?
Sheldon: So you're taking his side. You scurvy dog. You watch yourself.There is room on my enemies list now that the cafeteria ladies finally told me what's in the chili. By the way, don't eat the chili. Wait, wait, wait. You know what? Do.

Leonard: Be careful, Sheldon. I don't think you can afford to lose a second best friend.
I don't see anyone lining up to be your third.
Sheldon: D- Wait. [typing] "Snarky comebacks" Oh, here we go. "You have your entire life to be a jerk, why not take today off?" That was harsh, but he was asking for it.

Penny: This place is amazing. I can't believe you got us in here.
Anu: Well, it's kind of my job. Usually I get tipped for it, but I'll leave that up to you.

Bernadette: Look, I think that's LeBron over there.
Penny: James?
Bernadette: No, LeBron Kershenbaum.

Anu: So, what do you want to know?
Bernadette: Well, you seem like a smart, successful woman, why would you want to marry someone you just met?
Anu: Fair question. In my 20s, I tried this the normal way. You know, met a guy, fell in love, we moved in together. I put him through culinary school, screenwriting classes, and finally dumped him when he wanted to become a midwife. Then I realized, my parents are happy; they had an arranged marriage. Why am I fighting this?

Bernadette: I dunno, I married for love and it turned out ... fine.
Penny: [silence] Oh, yeah, me, too.