Howard: Renaissance fairs aren't about historical accuracy, they're about taking chubby girls who work at Kinko's and lacing them up in corsets so tight their bosoms jump out and say "Howdy".
Sheldon: Bosoms would not have said "Howdy" in the 15th century. If anything, they would've said "Huzzah".
Howard: I don't care what the bosoms say, Sheldon, I just want to be part of the conversation.

Sheldon: Worst Renaissance Fair ever!
Leonard: Please let it go, Sheldon.
Sheldon: It was rife with historical inaccuracies, for example, the tavern girl, serving flagons of mead, now her costume was obviously Germanic, but in 1487, the Bavarian purity laws, or Reinheitgebot, severely limited the availability of mead. At best, they would've had some spiced wine.
Leonard: You're nitpicking!
Sheldon: Oh, really? Well, here's another nit for you, the flagons would not have been made of polypropylene.

Leonard: Penny thinks I'm too smart for her. That's ridiculous!
Sheldon: I know! Most of your work is extremely derivative. And don't worry, that's not a secret.

Mrs. Wolowitz:What's going on? Are you boys rough housing?
Howard: We're just talking, Ma!
Mrs. Wolowitz: If you don't settle down right now, I'm not gonna let you have any more sleepovers.
Howard: For God's Sake, Ma, I'm 27 years old. And it's not even a school night.

Raj: I hate trains.
Sheldon: Oh, don't be silly. You love trains.

Penny: Look, just forget I told you about me not graduating from community college, okay?
Sheldon: Forget? You want me to forget? This mind does not forget. I haven't forgotten a thing since the day my mother stopped breast-feeding me. It was a drizzly Tuesday.

Penny: I meant has he ever been involved with someone who wasn't a brainiac?
Sheldon: Oh! Well, a few years ago, he did go out with a woman who had a Ph.D in French Literature.
Penny: How is that not a brainiac?
Sheldon: Well, for one thing she was French.

Raj: He was a lot more fun when he had no hope.
Howard: Give him time.

Raj: They don't care for it if you stare at them and hyperventilate. Sadly, that's my homerun swing.

Raj: Tag, you're it!
Howard: Shouldn't you put him in a brown paper bag and set him on fire?

Sheldon: Hey, Stuart, have you read the new Flash?
Stuart: No.
Sheldon: Well I have and it will knock your socks off. Good luck getting them back on.

Sheldon: You're the milk thief! Leonard said I was crazy but I knew that carton felt lighter.

Leonard: Hey, Sheldon, are you coming?
Sheldon: I'd rather have a blowfly lay eggs and hatch larvae in my auditory canal.

Sheldon: Chinese Food, Vintage video games. After the nightmare of Anything Can Happen Thursday, this is Friday night the way it was meant to be.
Howard: Who's up for Sheldon-Free Saturday?

Howard: I have got to learn how to draw.