Penny: What would you recommend as a present for a 13-year-old boy?
Stuart: A 13-year-old girl.

Sheldon: Amazing Spiderman, Ultimate Spiderman, Spectacular Spiderman, the Marvelous Adventures of Spiderman, Spiderman 2099?
Penny: Leonard?
Leonard: You know this can go on all night. Why don't you just come with us?
Penny: Ugh, that's what I was trying to avoid.
Sheldon: Oh, I forgot, Sensational Spiderman.

Sheldon: You set it on DTS, didn't you?
Leonard: I had to, she called me cutie.

Howard: Shucks means shucks. Let one go once in a while.

Sheldon: Oh, mimicry. I enjoy mimicry. I've been working on Admiral Ackbar from Return of the Jedi. "It's a trap". You have to imagine me with a giant squid head. "It's a trap! It's a trap. It's a trap."

Penny: Okay, did you even know the people that are moving out?
Sheldon: I never met them. That's what made them perfect. There were no awkward hellos in the halls. There's no clickety-clackety of high-heel shoes on hardwood floors. They may as well have been a family of cats just jumping around from drape to drape. And without that annoying ammonia urine smell.

Leonard: Come on, there's four of us and one of him.
Sheldon: Which means his triumph will be even larger. Minstrels will write songs about him.

Sheldon: Did Han Solo let Luke Skywalker freeze to death on the Planet Hoth? No, he opened a Ton Ton to keep his body temperature from plummeting.
Howard: You heard the man, hold him down and I'll cut him open.

Raj: If anyone cares, I still have to pee.

Penny: No Shoes, No Shirt, No Sheldon.
Howard: I bet we could sell that sign all over Pasadena!

Raj: So, Saturday night. Can I count on my posse?
Howard: Jeez, I'd love to Raj but I can't make it.
Raj: Ah, okay, Leonard?
Leonard: Oh, ah, oh, I can ... no.
Raj: Sheldon?
Sheldon: I can make it but I won't.

Howard: I got the Mars-rover stuck in the ditch.
Sheldon: Where?
Howard: On a dusty highway just outside Bakersfield. Where do you think?! On Mars!

Leonard: She's only been here a day and a half, and I'm seriously considering alcoholism as a new career path.
Penny: Hey, I talked to her for five minutes yesterday, and I've been half bombed ever since.

Penny: You can't let her get into your head.
Leonard: It's too late for me, my head is her summer house.

Howard: Ok, now, this is an exact duplicate of The Wolowitz Solid Waste Disposal System, as deployed on the International Space Station.
Raj: Don't you mean the Wolowitz Solid Waste Distribution System?