Sheldon: Why does Leonard get to go?
Wolowitz: Because he's upset over his situation with Penny, and if I have to hear about it again, I'm gonna kick him in his ovaries!
Leonard: Thanks for understanding.
Howard: I've got your back, sister!

Penny: No, I can't. Sheldon, honey, I don't want things to be weird between us.
Sheldon: Won't it also be 'weird' if I have to say hello to you every morning on my way to work and you're living in a refrigerator box and washing your hair with rainwater?

Raj: Ooo.
Penny: What's the matter, Lassie? Did Timmy fall down the well?

Howard: There must be another way.
Raj: You could try calling AAA. But based on NASA's latest timetable, they wouldn't be out there for another 35 years.
Sheldon: Plus, I understand you need to be standing next to the vehicle with your card when they arrive.

Sheldon: "Barney Bunny has two daddies now." Probably something about homosexual rabbits.

Penny: What are we gonna do?
Leonard: We? No, no, no. You had your chance to be "we" for like a year and a half now. Right now, you are you and you are screwed!

Sheldon: When you understand the laws of physics, Penny, anything is possible. And may I add, "Mwah, ha, ha."

Dr.Gablehauser: Need to get that, Dr. Cooper?
Sheldon: God, no.
Leslie: Don't turn it off, you might miss the Nobel Prize Committee saying that you won "Dumbass Scientist of the Year."

Stephanie: Where did you get the stethoscope and the blood pressure cuff?
Sheldon: My aunt Marion gave them to me for my 12th birthday. She thought if I failed at theoretical physics that I should have a trade to fall back on.

Sheldon: I'm clearly too evolved for driving.

Sheldon: And then you put it back, compromising the rest of the onion rings.
Penny: Aw honey, the buses don't go where you live do they?

Leonard: That was fast.
Beverly Hofstadter: Oh, the middle stall was occupied. I'll have to try again later.
Sheldon: That's totally understandable. In bladder voiding, as in real estate, it's location, location, location.

Stephanie: So, how was your day?
Leonard: You know, I'm a physicist, I thought about stuff.
Stephanie: That's it?
Leonard: I wrote some of it down.

Penny: What about Howard and Raj? How did he become friends with them?
Leonard: I dunno. How do carbon atoms form a benzene ring? Proximity and valence electrons.
Penny: Sure, when you put it like that.

Sheldon: In Papua New Guinea, there's a tribe when a hunter flaunts his success to the rest of the village, they kill him and drive away evil spirits with a drum made of his skin. Superstitious nonsense, of course, but one can see their point.