Penny: Leonard, and Howard, and Raj, they aren't like other guys. They're special.
Alicia: Okay, they're special, and?
Penny: Well let's see how can I explain this. Um. They don't know how to use their shields.
Alicia: Shields?
Penny: Yeah. You know like in Star Trek and you're in battle, and you raise the shields.
*Realizing what she said* Where the hell did that come from?

Stuart: Here, Sheldon, I pulled the new Hellboy for you. It's mind-blowing.
Sheldon: Excuse me. Spoiler alert.
Stuart: I didn't spoil anything.
Sheldon: You told me it's mind-blowing.So, my mind is going into it pre-blown. And once a mind is pre-blown, it cannot be re-blown.
Stuart: I'm sorry.
Sheldon: Said the Grinch to Christmas.

Penny: What are you saying? That I'm using my body to get dinner? That I'm some sort of Chinese food prostitute?

Howard: Kind of a "Mars rover, Mars rover, can Howard come over?" situation.

Penny: Well why don't you go to the movies then?
Sheldon: Because who would be there to perform the Heimlich maneuver if I choke on my popcorn?
Penny: So, don't buy popcorn.
Sheldon: No popcorn at the mo - listen to yourself!

Raj: Dr. Gablehouser.
Dr. Gablehouser: Dr. Koothrapali.
Leonard: Dr. Gablehouser.
Dr. Gablehouser: Dr. Hofstadter.
Sheldon: Dr. Gablehouser.
Dr. Gablehouser: Dr. Cooper.
Howard: Dr. Gablehouser.
Dr. Gablehouser: Mr. Wolowitz

Sheldon: Hey! Look I found my missing neutrino.
Howard: Oh, great! We can take it off the milk carton.

Raj: Boy, I bet Ellen Page's friends aren't giving her this kind of crap!

Rajesh: Oh,snap.
Sheldon: Snap what?

Leonard: Penny, you don't want to get into it with Sheldon. The guy's one lab accident away from being a super villain.

Raj: Come on! You know I can't talk to women unless I'm lit up like the Hindu festival of Diwali.

Penny: Ok, ok, how about this. We tell him somebody broke in?
Leonard: Just to shoot the couch with the paint ball gun?
Penny: I'm sorry, I'll buy it. All those people are on drugs.
Leonard: We can tell him they wanted the couch to stay away from their boyfriend.

Sheldon: Excuse me, but the problem is not solved. If your head had been accidentally amputated and we transplanted a dog's head in its place, would that be problem solved?
Leonard: If it were your head it would be.

Sheldon: If I would give you this gift basket, based on that action alone and no other data, infer and describe the hypothetical relationship that exist between us.
Store Clerk: Excuse me?
Sheldon: Here. Now, are we friends? Colleagues? Lovers? Are you my grandmother?
Store Clerk: I don't understand what you're talking about and you're making me a little uncomfortable.
Howard: See? Sounds just like you and Penny. We'll take it.

Sheldon: Leonard, have you ever wondered why my little toes and lateral incisors are significantly smaller than the average for someone of my size?
Leonard: I wonder a lot of things about you, Sheldon, but not that.