Leonard: Chosen by science?
Sheldon: Well, what passes for science on dating sites. They claim to use heuristic algorithms, but it may well be hokum.
Leonard: You got Penny to sign up for online dating?
Sheldon: No, of course not. No, I used trickery and deceit.

Sheldon: Leonard, this is Tom.
Leonard: Hi, Tom. Sheldon? Didn't I explain to you about your little mistake in the cafeteria?
Sheldon: Yes, you were very clear. As was everyone else at the table. Tom, however, has been chosen by science as a suitable mate for Penny.

Leonard: Listen, Penny.
Penny: Uh, Queen Penelope AFK. What?
Leonard: Okay, um, here's the thing, um, sometimes people, good people, you know, they start playing these games and they find themselves through no fault of their own, you know, kind of, addicted.
Penny: Yeah, get to the point, I'm about to level up here.
Leonard: Well, i-i-it's just if a person doesn't have a sense of achievement in their real life it's easy to lose themselves in a virtual world where they get a false sense of accomplishment.
Penny: Yeah, jabber jabber jabber, okay boys, Queen Penelope's back online.

Leonard: She's gotten really hooked on Age of Conan, she's playing non-stop.
Raj: Ah, yes, online gaming addiction. There's nothing worse than having that multi-player monkey on your back.

Leslie: Well, I would postulate that she's escaping into the online world to compensate for her sexual frustration.
Howard: I do that too. But probably in a different way.

Leonard: That's not what she's doing, Leslie. She's just trying to shore up her self esteem. It has nothing to do with sex.
Leslie: Everything has to do with sex.
Howard: Mmmm, testify. (Raises his hand for a high-five)
Leslie: I'm not touching that.

Leonard: Leslie, you are way off base here.
Sheldon: Hang on, Leonard, while I have no respect for Leslie as a scientist, or a human being for that matter, we have to concede her undeniable expertise in the interrelated fields of promiscuity and general sluttiness.
Leslie: Thank you. My point is that Tinkerbell just needs to get her some.
Sheldon: Some what? Oh, yes, some sexual intercourse.

Sheldon: Leonard, you have to do something about Penny. She is interfering with my sleep, she's interfering with my work, and if I had another significant aspect of my life, I'm sure she'd be interfering with that too.
Leonard: Why should I do something? You're the one who introduced her to online gaming.
Sheldon: Well, yes, but you're the one who said hello to her when she moved in. If you'd simply restrained yourself none of this would be happening.

Leonard: Why don't you just tell her to leave you alone?
Sheldon: I did. I told her, I texted her, I sent out a very emphatic twitter. I even changed my Facebook status to Sheldon Cooper wishes Penny would leave him alone. I don't know what else to do.

Leonard: Well, what am I supposed to do?
Sheldon: I don't know, but if you don't figure something out, I warn you I shall become very difficult to live with.
Leonard: You mean, up until now we've been experiencing the happy fun time Sheldon?
Sheldon: Yes.
Leonard: I'll go talk to her.

Penny: No, Fritz, I need you on my flank. No, I don't know German. Flankenzie, flankenzie!

Leonard: Hey Penny.
Penny: Busy.
Leonard: Yeah, I see that. Shouldn't you be at work?
Penny: I don't work on Mondays.
Leonard: It's Thursday.

Penny: Listen, I need to talk to Sheldon.
Howard: (Raj whispers in his ear) No, that's what she said, Sheldon.

Penny: Okay, look, I bought the game, and I've been exploring the Island of Tordage but I can't figure out how to get past the guard captain.
Sheldon: Do you have the enchanted sword?
Penny: No. No, I have a bronze dagger.
Sheldon: You can't slay the guard captain with a bronze dagger. My Lord, it's like the car key in your apartment door all over again.

Howard: What the frak?
Leonard: Beats me. They were playing all last night too.
Raj: It's like some kind of weird comic book crossover.
Howard: Like if Hulk were dating Peppermint Patty.
Raj: I always thought Peppermint Patty was a lesbian?
Leonard: No, that's Marcie. Peppermint Patty's just athletic.