Sheldon: Mine!
Leonard: No, it is not yours. We all went in on the box together.
Sheldon: Well, yes, but I found it in the box, and the laws of maritime salvage clearly state that the finder of a sunken treasure is the owner of the treasure.
Leonard: How is this maritime salvage?
Sheldon: Other than the lack of water, how is it not?

Sheldon: We can't sell it. We have to keep it and love it and polish it, and only take it out occasionally when we go to the park and re-enact our favourite scenes from the movies.
Howard: It's sad how great that sounds.

Leonard: Guys, it's stolen. It should go back to Peter Jackson. He made the movies, it belongs to him.
Howard: Fine. He can have it back as long as he promises to make me a hobbit in his next movie.
Raj: There are no Jewish hobbits.
Howard: Clearly, you've never been to my house for dinner on Rosh Hashanah.

Howard: Anyway, he said this isn't a replica. It's the real deal.
Sheldon: If you're suggesting that that is the actual ring of power forged by Sauron in Mount Doom, I look at you with an expression of exhaustion and ever so slight amusement.

Sheldon: Of course not. And, technically, magic beans would be food, although eating them would be quite a waste, since you could plant them and overnight have a giant beanstalk, which would provide enough roughage for a small city.
Penny: Yeah, sometimes I dont listen, sometimes I just watch your jaw go up and down.

Howard: We got this whole box for sixty bucks.
Leonard: We didn't even get to go through it all. There could be anything in here.
Penny: There a new girlfriend in there? 'cause you might need one.

Penny: Oh, it's about time. I'm starving.
Leonard: Uh, well, we didn't actually get Chinese food.
Penny: Why not?
Leonard: Don't panic, this is better.
Penny: Oh, no, you didn't trade the food for magic beans, did you?

Penny: Okay, I'm just gonna go home and make a grilled cheese and window-shop on eHarmony.

Leonard: No. But there is an original final draft Ghostbusters script with actual slime stains! (Raj whispers to Leonard) Oh, you're right, it's Ghostbusters 2. Never mind.

Sheldon: Like Enid, Oklahoma. Low crime rate and high-speed Internet connectivity, but no model train shops. Sorry, Enid.

Sheldon: All right, Boone, North Carolina. Every summer since 1952, Boone has hosted an outdoor amphitheater portrayal of the life and times of its namesake, Dan’l Boone. Sounds like something that would attract the wrong crowd.

Howard: Hey, look who's back!
Sheldon: Interesting. The acquaintance is the first to greet me.

Howard: Oh, come on. So you were the victim of a crime. That's part of life. When my great-grandfather first came to this country, he put all his hopes and dreams into this little butcher shop he ran on the Lower East Side of New York. You know what happened? Every customer who walked into that butcher shop and asked for a pound of liver, got ripped off. But, those people moved on, and so should you.

Sheldon: Wonderful security system if we're attacked by a school of tuna.
Howard: Don't worry, the net's going to be electrified. Picture her on the floor, spasming uncontrollably.
Sheldon: Better.

Leonard: God, Sheldon. What the hell are you doing out there?
Sheldon: I heard a noise.
Leonard: It was us. We knocked over a lamp.
Sheldon: Why would you knock over a lamp?
Leonard: We were going to have...
Penny: He doesn't need to know what we were doing, Leonard.
Sheldon: Oh! No, she's right, I don't need to know what you were doing. Carry on.