Sheldon: I would like a root beer float.
Raj: Sheldon, they don't have ice cream.
Sheldon: They don't? Well, apparently these people and I differ greatly on the definition of party.

Raj: He'll have a Shirley Temple.
Sheldon: And don't be chintzy with the Shirley.

Leonard: I'm sorry, but facts are facts.
Penny: Right, and if you can't understand it, it's not a fact.
Leonard: No, if it's not a fact, it's not a fact.

Howard: I don't like to kiss and tell, but somebody made it to eighth base.
Leonard: What the hell is eighth base?
Howard: Seventh base with shirt off. Well, my shirt.

Howard: Let me show you another way to look at this. Here we have the universe of all women. These are the ones you want to sleep with. These are the women who believe exactly what you believe. These are the women who would be willing to sleep with you. And right there in the little triple intersection is your ideal mate. Odds are she's a short physicist with low self-esteem who lives in a government research facility in China.

Penny: Wow, that's all you got after you were the most obnoxious person on a double date that included Howard Wolowitz?

Leonard: Look at us. Getting ready for a double date with actual women who publicly acknowledge they're our girlfriends.
Howard: Yes, actual women are the best.
Sheldon: I don't understand. What other kind of women are there?
Leonard: Howard, artificial women are your department. You want to take this?
Howard: No, it would just freak him out.

Howard: Listen, before we leave, I should warn you, I'm a passionate man and I tend towards public displays of affection.
Leonard: What are you trying to tell me, Howard?
Howard: There might be some making out in the car or the restaurant, and I don't want Bernadette to feel uncomfortable, so it would help if you and Penny made out, too.
Leonard: Don't worry. We're planning to have sex right on the salad bar.

Raj: Namaste, white people. Good news! I rented us the four-hour edition of Watchmen.
Leonard: Got it.
Howard: Seen it.
Sheldon: Detailed analysis posted online.

Raj: What about me?
Sheldon: Well, I understand there are several types of artificial women. Maybe you should look into that.

Raj: Dude, there's so many cool things we could be doing tonight. Look. At the Glendale Galleria, "Put on your best zoot suit, it's a salute to Swing music in the center court near Macy's. 5pm to 9pm", huh, huh? A salute to zoot. Sounds like a hoot.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, Raj, I have no desire to salute any article of clothing tonight. Much less one that's linked to race riots in the 1940s.
Raj: Race riots?
Sheldon: The zoot suit riots.
Raj: Oh. I always thought that was some sort of after-Christmas sale.

Raj: Well, then why don't we just go to the Galleria and walk around?
Sheldon: I don't need anything at the Galleria. Do you need anything at the Galleria?
Raj: No. We would just walk around and see what's what.
Sheldon: That's a semantically null sentence.

Raj: Okay, well, how about this? From the university Web site, 7pm to 10pm, Norton Hall Multipurpose Room, mixer for grad students and faculty of the science and humanities departments. Whether you split atoms or infinitives, this is the place to be.
Sheldon: Well, that's certainly amusing, but I have no interest.

Raj: Please, Sheldon, I'm a young, virile visitor from a foreign land and I need to strut my stuff.
Sheldon: Let me offer you a compromise. Sometimes when I feel stifled and want a change of scenery, I use my imagination.
Raj: Oh, boy.
Sheldon: One of my favorite places to visit is the two-dimensional world described in Edwin Abbott's mathematical fantasy, Flatland.
Raj: I don't want to go to Flatland.
Sheldon: You're only saying that because you haven't been there. I am now a hexagon in two-dimensional space and can only perceive the edges of other objects.
Raj: Oy.
Sheldon: Is that you, Raj? I don't recognize your edge.

Raj: Sheldon, I'm begging you. I want to go to this mixer, and I don't want to go alone.
Sheldon: Well, you're in luck. There's a mixer here in Flatland. Oh, look, there's a sexually attractive line segment, you should chat her up.
Raj: What?
Sheldon: Tell her you're a circle. Flatland gals are all hot for circles.