Leonard: I hope you're hungry, Bernadette. We're going to a terrific restaurant.
Bernadette: Oh, yeah, I'm starved. When you spend all day in a bio-lab, watching flesh-eating bacteria skeletonize small rodents it really works up an appetite.

Howard: Flesh-eating bacteria. And yet, I still want to kiss this woman, what does that tell you?
Penny: That you'd be willing to die a horrible death on the off-chance you'd get to second base?

Bernadette: How's your work going, Penny? Any acting jobs?
Penny: Well, the last big thing I did was this production of Diary of Anne Frank above a bowling alley. But I think things might be turning around pretty soon.
Leonard: Great. How come?
Penny: Well, promise you won't make fun of me.
Leonard: Of course, I would never make fun of you.
Penny: Okay. Well, I went to this psychic who told me that if I cut my hair, I'm going to get a national commercial.
Leonard: (Laughing) Seriously? You're getting career advice from a psychic?
Howard: Good job not making fun of her.

Penny: She's not one of those phonies, okay. She wrote a book and has her own Web site.
Leonard: Oh, gee, why didn't you say so? They don't let just anyone have a Web site.
Penny: Why are you being such a jerk?
Leonard: You're surprised? Your psychic didn't tell you I was going to be a jerk?
Penny: Ha-ha, bite me.

Raj: Thanks for coming with me.
Sheldon: Thanks for giving me your limited edition Green Lantern lantern.
Raj: Did you really have to bring it in with you?
Sheldon: What if evil strikes and my power ring runs low?

Raj: Come on, let's get a drink.
Sheldon: I don't drink.
Raj: Yeah, well I do. And when my wingman is carrying a Green Lantern lantern, I drink a lot. I'll have a screwdriver, please. Don't be chintzy with the screw.

Raj: Okay, let's check out the females.
Sheldon: All right. There's a female.
Raj: That's Professor Wilkinson's wife. She's like 80 years old.
Sheldon: But she's female. Isn't that the game?
Raj: No. I'm looking for a hookup.
Sheldon: Oh, yes. So, the point of this exercise is for you to find someone to copulate with?
Raj: Not so loud, but ideally, yes. Thanks.

Sheldon: Thank you. And what is my function as wingman?
Raj: You help me run my game.
Sheldon: Okay. What is your game?
Raj: When I lie through my teeth to a woman, you nod and agree.

Bernadette: So, what should we talk about?
Howard: Well, we could always learn more about why people who believe in psychics are idiots. Leonard?

Penny: Thank you for educating me.
Leonard: You're welcome. How's your fish?
Penny: Amazing. Would you like to try some?
Leonard: Yeah, sure.
Penny: Well, the fact is, you can't.

Leonard: Come on, Howard, Bernadette, you're both scientists. Help me out here.
Howard: What do you think? Want to jump right into the middle of another couple's argument?
Bernadette: No, thank you.
Howard: Sorry.

Leonard: Maybe we should just stop talking about this.
Penny: Maybe some of us should stop talking altogether.
Waiter: How is everything tonight?
Bernadette: Really uncomfortable.

Howard: Are we taking our relationship frustrations out on innocent Cylons?
Leonard: It's not just Cylons. Superman's next.
Howard: All right, I was going to try to squeeze in a little more mocking before lunch, but I can come back later when you don't have a high-powered weapon.

Sheldon: The dog - koira. The roof - katto. Grapes - viinirypleet. One minute. Sisn!
Raj: What was that?
Sheldon: It means come in. It's taking forever to load the new operating system on my computer. I disinfected the kitchen and the bathroom, and now I thought I'd learn Finnish.

Raj: जहां आपकी मर्जी हो. That's Hindi for whatever floats your boat.