Raj: Uh, listen, I got a text from that girl Abby, and she and her friend Martha want to hang out with us again. What do you say?
Sheldon: I don't say anything. I merely offer you a facial expression that suggests you've gone insane.
Raj: I don't get it. You had a great time.
Sheldon: Yes, exactly, I had a great time. That's done. I've moved on to other things. For example, after I learn Finnish, I'm not going to learn Finnish again.

Raj: Please, Sheldon, I'm a lost Indian boy far from home, and I want a girlfriend and I want her to be Abby, and she'll only come over if she can bring Martha.
Sheldon: Raj, I highly doubt there is any argument you can make, threat you might levy, rhetorical strategy, plea, invocation, supplication, or "vetoomus" that you can employ that would convince me to reconsider.
Raj: My Incredible Hulk hands signed by Stan Lee.
Sheldon: Oh, my. I've admired these for years.
Raj: So does that mean we can go with the girls again?
Sheldon: Hulk agree to second date with puny humans!

Leonard: Hey. Cleaning out the old dryer lint, huh? Not only is it courteous, it's safety smart. Every year, 15,000 fires are caused by accidental dryer lint ignition. Now you're supposed to say, wow, what an interesting fact. Come here, you crazy, nerdy guy. I could never be mad at you.

Leonard: No, I'm sorry. I really am. It's not right to mock what a person believes in.
Penny: Thank you. Would you be willing to go to my psychic and see what it's all about?
Leonard: Would you be willing to read a book that concisely explains how all psychics are frauds?
Penny: I would not.

Sheldon: I made tea.
Leonard: I don't want tea.
Sheldon: I didn't make tea for you. This is my tea.
Leonard: Then why are you telling me?
Sheldon: It's a conversation starter.
Leonard: That's a lousy conversation starter.
Sheldon: Oh, is it? We're conversing. Checkmate.

Penny: Sheldon, did you have a Christmas tree?
Sheldon: Oh, yes. We had a tree, we had a manger, we had an inflatable Santa Claus with plastic reindeer on the front lawn. And to make things even more jolly, there were so many blinking lights on the house they induced neighborhood-wide seizures.

Penny: I always tear up when the Grinch's heart grows three sizes.
Sheldon: Tears seem appropriate. Enlargement of the heart muscle, or hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, is a serious disease which can lead to congestive heart failure.

Leonard: When we watch Frosty the Snowman, he roots for the sun.
Sheldon: Excuse me, but the sun is essential for all life on earth. Frosty is merely a bit of frozen, supernatural ephemera in a stolen hat. A crime, by the way, for which he is never brought to account.

Beverly Hofstadter: So, Howard, have you and Rajesh finally summoned the courage to express your latent homosexual feelings towards one another?

Beverly Hofstadter: She doesn't have much in the way of career prospects, and don't make her responsible for her own orgasms as well.

Leonard: Merry Newtonmas everyone.

Penny: Come on, I mean, you're not upset that your marriage is over?
Beverly: Well, initially I felt something akin to grief and perhaps anger, but that's the natural reaction of the limbic system to being betrayed by a loathsome son of a bitch.
Penny: Sure, sure.

Raj: You think your thoughts are pure gold, but let me tell you something they are pure caca.

Sheldon: On the contrary I find the Grinch to be a relatable and engaging character. And I was really with him, right up to the point that he succumbed to social convention, returned the presents and saved Christmas.

Leonard: I drove, mother. I'm driving now.
Beverly Hofstadter: Yes, dear. Mommy's proud.