Raj: You can't wear the hands on the date.
Sheldon: Hulk sad!

Leonard: I'm just saying, you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
Sheldon: You catch even more with manure, what's your point?

Sheldon: My new computer came with Windows 7. Windows 7 is much more user-friendly than Windows Vista. I don't like that.

*Sheldon is using a map of the U.S. to find out where he can move*
Sheldon: Penny, you're from Nebraska, right?
Penny: Born and raised.
*Sheldon crosses out Nebraska*

Sheldon: It's all right, they didn't take my comic books.

Penny: I always tear up when the Grinch's heart grows three sizes.
Sheldon: Tears seem appropriate. Enlargement of the heart muscle, or hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, is a serious disease which can lead to congestive heart failure.

Sheldon: And good evening to you, Siam Palace, this is Sheldon Cooper. Yeah, I'm going to be dining alone this evening, so I'll be reducing my usual order. I'd like to start with one quarter of the assorted appetizers plate and one half of the Golden Treasure for two - oh, for heaven's sake! In the mid-18th century, King Rama the Fourth of Siam divided a huge empire amongst the colonial powers of Europe in order to preserve his throne. Surely you, his cultural descendant, can handle pad thai and dumplings.

Sheldon: Oh yes, canine football fans are a common sight in Texas. Cats, however, refuse to wear sporting apparel. My sister found that out the hard way.

Leonard: When we watch Frosty the Snowman, he roots for the sun.
Sheldon: Excuse me, but the sun is essential for all life on earth. Frosty is merely a bit of frozen, supernatural ephemera in a stolen hat. A crime, by the way, for which he is never brought to account.

Beverly Hofstadter: So, Howard, have you and Rajesh finally summoned the courage to express your latent homosexual feelings towards one another?

Beverly Hofstadter: She doesn't have much in the way of career prospects, and don't make her responsible for her own orgasms as well.

Sheldon: You know, I've always wanted to go to a goth nightclub.
Howard: Really?
Sheldon: Bazinga! You never see any of my practical jokes coming, do you?

Penny: Don't you dare knock!

Sheldon: Let it never be said that Sheldon Lee Cooper ignored the pleas of a damsel in distress.

Sheldon: I've just discovered I don't have enough room on my hard drive for a Linux partition, so you and I are going to perform a full backup, re-initialize and then re-install all my operating systems.