Penny: Ooh, look who's out on a date. Pasadena's favorite power couple, Shamy.
Sheldon: And that is the answer to the question, what is wrong with eating at The Cheesecake Factory.

Penny: Sheldon, what is wrong with you?
Sheldon: Not much. Although, I can be faulted for being overly fond of koala bears. I don't know what it is, but when they start munching on eucalyptus, I just melt inside.

Leonard: Buy her something.
Sheldon: How does that work?
Leonard: Well, you skip over any attempt to repair your emotional connection and you win back her affection with an empty financial gesture.
Sheldon: Well, that approach has Sheldon Cooper written all over it.

Howard: But don't you think it will be different when the child is ours?
Bernadette: Right, when it's our kid that has ruined my body, and kept me up all night, and I've got no career and no future, and nothing to be happy about for the next twenty years. Sure, that'll be completely different.
Howard: Well, yeah.

Shop Assistant: Are we looking for anything special? Perhaps a ring for the lady?
Penny: (Snorts) Trust me, we are not a couple.
Sheldon: Excuse me. I don't see why you get to snort derisively and point that out. You'd be lucky to land a fella like me.
Penny: Fine, go ahead.
Sheldon: (Snorts) Trust me, we are not a couple.

Howard: Maybe me and Bernadette aren't right for each other.
Leonard: Look, Howard, I'd say there's a lot of fish in the sea, but I watched you dangle your hook in the water for years. Do not throw her back.

Howard: Completely empty box. If you'd like to examine it?
Leonard: Mm-hmm. Yep. I see nothing in this box but a wasted childhood.
Howard: Little snarky there, cello lessons.

Howard: And we have this completely ordinary cylinder. If you'd like to examine it?
Raj: Ordinary, yet I sense it is dripping with magical potential.
Sheldon: Oh, dear Lord. A man pops out for a moment to evacuate his bowels and catch up on the adventures of the Caped Crusader, only to emerge and discover his apartment has been transformed into a cabaret.

Raj: I'm telling you, dude, there's a seat on the Hogwarts Express with your name on it.

Howard: Look, I made Sheldon disappear. Ta-da.
Leonard: Next time, you should open with that.

Penny: So, are we celebrating anything special tonight?
Amy: Oh, yes. Our relationship agreement specifies that the second Thursday of every month, or the third Thursday in a month with five Thursdays, is date night.
Penny: That is so hot.

Sheldon: Ooh! Speaking of good news, somebody just hit 100 Twitter followers.
Amy: That's nice. Anyway, I've been dreaming of this day for a long time.
Sheldon: Yeah, me, too. Triple digits, I'm not gonna lie, feels pretty good.
Amy: Sheldon, I'm the sole author on a paper being published in a distinguished journal that may change the course of my field.
Sheldon: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Ooh, 101! Air's getting a bit thin up here.

Penny: Okay, Amy just told you some exciting news, and you acted like it was no big deal.
Sheldon: Oh, I see why you're confused. No, her news sounded important, but what you're forgetting is, it was an achievement in the field of biology. That's all about yucky, squishy things.

Penny: Honey, she's upset. You're her boyfriend. You have to at least try to be excited by the things she's excited by.
Sheldon: What if they simply don't excite me?
Penny: Well, just smile and think about koalas.
Sheldon: She'd see right through that. We go to the zoo all the time. She knows my koala face. And for future reference, it's this.

Bernadette: Oh, you have a lot of magic stuff.
Howard: Yeah. I started when I was a teenager. I thought I could show a girl a few tricks and invite her up to my bedroom to see the rest of the act.
Bernadette: Did it work?
Howard: Ah, let's just say the only wand that ever saw any action was this one.