Penny: Hey, what's this?
Leonard: Uh, before you open that, um, are you familiar with the story of "The Shoemaker and the Elves"?
Penny: Elves? Come on, Leonard. It's too early for Lord of the Rings.

Sheldon: I will play the word "at" for two measly points, throwing the game and thus securing my friendship with the smartest man in the world.
Howard: What are you waiting for? Hit send.
Sheldon: I can't. Losing on purpose is intellectually dishonest.
Raj: So don't do it.
Sheldon: Oh, but I want to be Hawking's friend.
Howard: So do it.
Sheldon: Oh, but if I do, I'll be a phony, a sellout, a Hollywood poser.
Raj: Then don't do it.
Sheldon: I won't. This feels right. My mother always said, to thine own self be true.
Howard: Good for you.
Sheldon: 'course she also told me that every animal in the world got on one boat, so what does she know? And send.

Amy: How'd it go with Leonard?
Penny: I don't think he'll be making that mistake again.
Bernadette: Good.
Penny: So, I know this goes without saying, but if either of you tell Leonard you helped me rewrite this paper, I will beat you both with a bag of oranges.

Penny: Now, ladies, we got a B-minus on this paper. I think if we put our heads together, on the next one we could get an A.
Bernadette: Uh, but we got you a B-minus on purpose to make it believable.
Penny: Believable? You saying I'm not smart?
Bernadette: No, no!
Amy: You're smart.
Penny: That's better.

Amy: I feel like I'm in high school again.
Bernadette: Yeah, doing the prom queen’s homework so she'll like us.
Amy: I know. It's finally working.

Stuart: Hey. Hey, look at you guys!
Amy: I'm Raggedy Ann, and he's Raggedy C-3PO.
Sheldon: It was a compromise. I lost.

Bernadette: Leonard does things he doesn't like to make you happy.
Penny: Well, yeah he's my boyfriend, isn't that like his job?
Amy: Then what's your job?
Penny: Letting him make me happy.

Howard: A week ago, I was an astronaut.
Bernadette: Yeah, well, today you're a Smurf! Keep moving!

Howard: Okay, here it is. Bernadette said you guys are all sick of me talking about my trip to space. Is that true?
Sheldon: Yes.
Raj: No.
Sheldon: We seem to have different approaches here. I was going for helpful honesty. I have no idea what you're doing.
Raj: It's called being nice.
Sheldon: Okay. If you think being nice will get him to shut up, I'll try it.

Bernadette: Whoa, Drinky Smurf.

Howard: (Mimicking Bernadette in a high voice) Oh Howie, stop talking about space so much. Nobody likes it.
Bernadette: (In a low voice) I don't sound like that.

Stuart: "To Stuart, your comic book store is out of this world. Just like the guy in this picture was."
Sheldon: For the record, he also thinks Walgreens and the dry cleaners are out of this world.
Howard: That's not true. At Walgreens I was over the moon for their store-brand antacids.

Raj: Would you like me to help? I do have a certain je ne sais quoi when it comes to soirees.
Stuart: Thanks, but I can't afford je ne sais quoi. How much for just quoi?

Bernadette: I just think in relationships you get back what you put into them.
Amy: That's not always true. Last night, I gave Sheldon my best come-hither look, and he responded by explaining how wheat came to be cultivated.

Amy: I think I'm gonna try green tea mixed with lemon zinger.
Sheldon: Two tea bags in one cup? You're not at a rave.