Sheldon: Oh, I'm not going to the funeral.
Amy: Why not?
Sheldon: All those people blowing their noses. You can't tell the sick from the sad.

Sheldon: I'm working on the Star Wars day schedule. Now, I have a window built in, after Phantom Menace, for complaining. But I'm worried an hour won't be enough time.

Leonard: May the force be with you. Get it?
Penny: Oh no, this face wasn't because I didn't get it.

Sheldon: I'm fine.
Leonard: Okay ... and yet he cried when they changed the Raisin Bran box.

Leonard: The funeral's on Sunday.
Sheldon: But that's Star Wars day.
Leonard: Yeah. Off all the things about this that are sad, that might not be number one.

Sheldon: What are you doing?
Leonard: Comforting you.
Sheldon: Your heart might be in the right place, but your head, chest and arms certainly aren't.

Raj: Here we go. Night of a Thousand Corpses.
Emily: Just so you know, I was a nanny for three years, so if you get scared I can totally change your diaper.

Sheldon: Hello. I didn't expect you this evening.
Amy: Well, I was just feeling so bad about lying to you the other night. I wanted to make it up to you.
Sheldon: And how do you propose to do that?
Amy: *Opens coat to reveal school uniform*
Sheldon: Unless you have Gravity on Blu-ray under that skirt, I don't know where you're going with this.

Penny: Wow, you really struck a nerve. I've never heard him use the M-word before.

Psychic: Does she have dark hair?
Penny: Yes, yes. Your spirit guides are on fire!
Sheldon: The majority of people have dark hair. Even you at one time.

Psychic: Does she work in a similar field to you?
Sheldon: Hah, the opposite. I'm a physicist and she's a neurobiologist. My spirit guides can go suck an egg.

Sheldon: You know what this is? And I reserve this word for those instances when it's truly reserved. This is malarkey.

Psychic: He should give himself to this relationship. Once he does, all his other pursuits will come into focus.
Penny: Sheldon, you hear that? Amy is the key to your happiness.
Psychic: Exactly. Personally and professionally. Everything will fall into place once you commit to her.

Psychic: Your spirit guides are telling me there's a woman in your life you're having problems with.
Sheldon: That's an easy guess. I'm clearly an annoying person. I have trouble with both genders.
Psychic: Yes, you clearly are.

Leonard: Well, Penny can be very persuasive. She's gotten me to do a lot of things I wouldn't normally do.
Amy: Because she has sex with you.
Leonard: Yeah, she does.