Amy: Did you lie to Howard about tonight?
Bernadette: Of course.
Amy: And you don't like feel guilty about it?
Bernadette: Between Penny's gorilla movie and Howard's gorilla mother, I had no choice.

Leonard: Thankfully, Penny and I have a relationship built around honesty.
*Amy and Bernadette chuckle*
Leonard: What? I don't lie to her.
Bernadette: Oh, we know you don't lie to her.

Penny: Hey, maybe the answer to your career question is in one of these.
Sheldon: Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that's solves life's problems and that's an Oreo. Or a nutterbutter if you're in a pinch.

Raj: Why does Emily like this stuff? Do you think there's something psychologically wrong with her?
Howard: What difference does it make?
Raj: What do you mean?
Howard: Come on, she could have a freezer full of ex-boyfriends' body parts and you'd still go out with her.
Raj: I do like that the ex-boyfriend's out of the picture.

Sheldon: Amy, you told me you were sick. But you look as pale and tired as always.

Raj: Okay, let's get this over with. Eww, it's got someone's hair on it.
Howard: Oh, yeah. You're gonna do great with this movie.

Penny: I don't understand why you're not upset with Amy.
Sheldon: I am. So much so that I'm going to bring her here for dinner on our next date night.

Sheldon: My mother would lock her car if she had to drive through his hodgepodge of ethnicity.

Penny: You know what, maybe I need a break from all of you. Come on, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Where are we going?
Penny: We're going to have Anything Can Happen Thursdays, you're going to tell me all about your science stuff and I'm going to complain about my movie, and we're going to support each other because that's what friends do.
Sheldon: Okay. Because if I had to pick now, I'd probably go with dark matter-
Penny: Shut. Up.

Raj: Hey, listen to this. Murder, cannibalism and satanic rituals are just a few of the thousand-plus horrors that await.
Howard: I just helped my mum out of the tub, so I'm one slippery horror ahead of you.

Penny: Why would they lie to us?
Sheldon: That's a good question.
*Sheldon knocks three times on the restaurant window* Amy and Bernadette! [x3]
Sheldon: Why did you lie to us?

Raj: You're a good son. I don't know how you do it.
Howard: Beach blankets, my friend. It's all about beach blankets.

Raj: You're a good friend. I'll owe you one.
Mrs. Wolowitz (off-screen): Howard, help me get out of the tub!
*Howard looks at Raj*
Raj: Not that one!

Raj: You know when Cinnamon won't take her medicine. I hide it in a piece of cheese.
Howard: Good idea. We can wrap up the pill in cheese, feed it to Cinnamon and then my mom can eat Cinnamon.

Penny: Come on. Anything can happen. We could push him down the stairs!