Raj: Emily, your face is like a precious Dew-kissed flower.
Amy: Wow.
Raj: I know. Powerful stuff, huh?
Amy: No. You're supposed to be yourself. Not all desperate and creepy.
Raj: Okay, I'm getting some mixed messages here.

Raj: Amy, I could use some help.
Amy: Let me guess. There's an undergrad in a leather jacket snapping his fingers by the water fountain.

Amy: Before I met Sheldon I was ready to give up too. Once, I even called in on my OBGYN just for some human contact.
Raj: It has been a while since I got my prostate checked.

Amy: Thanks for walking me to my car.
Raj: Actually it's for both of us. Last night I watched Westside Story and I'm a little freaked out by streetgangs.
Amy: Why can't Raj find a girl? The mystery continues.

Sheldon: To this day I still get a monthly copy of "Granny on Granny". Which other than its surprisingly fun puzzle page is complete filth.

Sheldon: Nine years, eleven months and three weeks ago, he followed that up replacing the slides for my lecture with photographs of nude fat women bending over.
Amy: Really?
Howard: The lecture was on cosmic gas clouds.
Raj: I was there. It was funny!

Sheldon: Ten years ago upon first seeing me, your husband claimed that I looked like C3P0 and Peewee Herman. And he called me C3Peewee Herman.

Howard: Hey, she's my wife. If anyone's gonna make her feel gross about sex, it's me.

Bernadette: Raj, your tag's sticking out. *Bernadette tucks Raj's clothing tag back in*
Raj: Thank you. That's the closest I've come to sex in like two years.
Bernadette: Now I feel a little gross.
Raj: You're only making it seem more real for me.

Leonard: Don't a lot of famous actors get their start doing bad movies?
Penny: Okay, I don't think Meryl Streep ever had to say "Must keep gorilla hands from killing again".
Raj: If she did it would be amazing. That woman can do no wrong.

Sheldon: I have an eidetic memory. I don't what his (Raj's) problem is.

Howard: Is that book called "Lies I tell to get sex"?
Raj: Is that a real book? I would totally read that book.
Amy: Can I borrow it when you're done?

Penny: You know, my aunt changed her diet and in a few months -
Howard: Went to space? I don't think so! Now pass the soy sauce. Not the green one, the red one.

Bernadette: I think what we're all trying to say is that you don't seem to be remembering how traumatic the experience was for you.
Raj: Like how women often forget the pain of childbirth.
Mike Rostenkowski: Like a woman. Great analogy.

Mike Massimino: You know how astronauts need to have the right stuff?
Howard: Sure.
Mike Massimino: The stuff you have is wrong.