Sheldon: I've read that there are great yogis who have such mastery over their bodies that they can draw water in through their genitals.
Penny: Yeah, well I don't think we're gonna get to do that today.
Sheldon: Too bad. It seems like a good way to drink a milkshake without getting brain freeze.

Leonard: How did she get you to do yoga?
Sheldon: Well, to be honest I thought she said Yoda.

Sheldon: Where is this going? Are you two ever getting married? And if so, where will we all live? Have you thought about that?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Penny?
Penny: Okay, wait, what are we doing?
Leonard: For some reason we're planning a future where we both live with Sheldon for ever.

Stuart: I haven't seen this many people in my store since that Korean Church bus crashed through my window.

Jesse: Hey, Stuart. I haven't seen you in forever. Look how grey you've gotten.
Stuart: My hair's exactly the same color as always.
Jesse: No, I was talking about your skin.

Jesse: How about you, Stu? Mocha, scone, directions to the nearest soup kitchen?
Bernadette: Hey!
Jesse: I'm just kidding. He knows where this soup kitchen is.

Stuart: You know something, Jesse. You may have a successful business and the kind of pink complexion that comes with good nutrition, but I have something more important.
Jesse: What's that?
Stuart: Friendship ... which I would trade in a heartbeat for all this.

Howard: Mineral and rock show? That would be awful even without Bert.

Sheldon: Where's my lemonade?
Penny: I didn't get it.
Sheldon: A fitting swan song to your career as a waitress to forget my order one last time.

Sheldon: When I decided I was going to be a physicist, I didn't take some other job in case it didn't work. Which wasn't easy, because there was a lot of pressure from Ms. Pearson to be chalk monitor that year.

Penny: Thank you, I needed to hear that. Why can't Leonard understand it?
Sheldon: Because he's not like us, Penny. We're dreamers!
Penny: Yeah, I need to start cracking the window when I leave you in the car.

Bert: This is awkward. You thought I was going to ask you to go with me to the rock and mineral show.
Amy: Weren't you?
Bert: Yeah.

Amy: That's very nice, but I have a boyfriend.
Bert: That's what they all say. You just don't want to go out with me because I have an off-putting personality.
Amy: No, that's not true. My boyfriend has an off-putting personality, too. Like way worse than you.

Howard: You know if you'd rather skip lunch and hang out with your boyfriend, Bert. It's totally okay.
Amy: He's not my boyfriend.
Raj: Are you sure? He's tall, pale and awkward. That sounds like your type.

Amy: (To Raj) Should somebody as lonely as you really be making fun of me?
Raj: Yeah, grow up, Howard! God.