Sheldon: This is no way to make new humans. People coming out of people. Like some dirty magic show.

Mary Cooper: Sheldon Lee Cooper, you get back in this room right now. And bring a mop!
Sheldon: Did you hear that? A mop! I've got two PHDs yet somehow I'm the janitor of my sister's birth canal.

Penny: Do you ever imagine what that would be would be like, not being born?
Leonard: *Sheldon's knock* What do you think? *Sheldon's knock* What do you think? *Sheldon's knock* What do you think?

Amy: You make jokes about Sheldon but if it weren't for him, I don't think any of us would be sitting in in this room right now.
Howard: Really? Sheldon not being here is the main reason I'm in this room.

Amy: You wouldn't be dating Penny.
Leonard: You don't know that. I've been going to the Cheesecake Factory for years. I could have picked her up.
*Everybody laughs*
Penny: Oh, you weren't joking?

Howard: I've never done this before, it's kinda fun.
Raj: Yeah, if your mom could see her little Bar Mitzvah boy, she'd have a heart attack.
Bernadette: Good idea. I'll take a picture.

Stuart: Hello. Oh good, I'm glad you guys didn't wait for me to start. Although you said seven and it's seven. It's fine!

Sheldon: The second I go out of town, you throw a Christmas party without me?
Amy: Yeah, kinda.
Sheldon: That's so thoughtful. You guys are the best.

Sheldon: She chose to have a home birth. Because she wants to live in the stone age, and a cave wasn't available.

Raj: You know, many people believe home births are better because the mother's in a warm, comfortable environment where she can be nurtured by loved ones.
Sheldon: And turn the bedroom floor into an amniotic slip 'n slide.

Penny: Aww, that's great. You're going to be an uncle. Uncle Sheldon.
Sheldon: No, I will be Uncle Dr. Cooper.

Sheldon: I never told you about my brother's kidney stones. Do you want hear about everything that comes out of my family's genitals?

Sheldon: Well, she's due to tomorrow. But it did take her six years to finish high school, so who knows.

Leonard: All right, here's the deal. Sheldon is gone so the tree decorating rules are out the window.
Penny: Which means we don't have to use his ridiculous ornament spacing template.
Leonard: And I'm happy to report its Kickstarter campaign is holding steady at $0.

Raj: So Star Trek and Star Wars characters can go on the same branch?
Leonard: I know, it's crazy. Welcome to the Thunderdome, people!