Wil Wheaton: Penny, it's not about being famous. It's about the art. It's about the passion we have for our craft. *cell phone beeps* I have an audition for Sharnkado 2! If I book this, I am so going to pay you back for this beer.

Howard: What took you so long? The grocery store's only a few blocks away.
Bernadette: They only had regular yogurt. I had to go a different store to get the extra-fat kind your mom likes.

Raj: But before I take my shirt off, I need like ten minutes to do some crunches.

Leonard: So, listen. There was something I was hoping to float past you. Now that Penny and I are engaged, I thought we might want to talk about our living arrangements.
Sheldon: Of course. She's spent many nights here, and you're worried about preserving the myth of her virginity before the wedding.
Leonard: I'm not.
Sheldon: Good. Because not only has that ship sailed, if it hit an iceberg countless men would perish.

Leonard: Maybe I'll move in with Penny, or maybe she and I'll take this place and you can move across the hall.
Sheldon: Move across the hall?! Did you take a marijuana?

Sheldon: I see. You're putting your future bride's happiness above mine.
Leonard: Well, yeah!
Sheldon: Wow.

Amy: You know, this might work out for the best. You're always complaining about what a terrible roommate Leonard is. Like how he turns up the thermostat when you're not there.
Sheldon: Euck, it's like walking into the Amazon. And not the good Amazon with one-day shipping, the awful one with birds and snakes.

Amy: Maybe you'll like living alone.
Sheldon: Perhaps.
Amy: And if you don't, maybe you and I could live together.
Sheldon: Oh, sure! While we're at it, why don't we get engaged, too? Why don't we get a little house, start a family, enjoy our sunset years together? Do you hear yourself woman?!

Sheldon: I'm helping you get back on your feet. I would like to purchase this comic book, please.
Stuart: It'll be $2.99.
Sheldon: Really? It's soaking wet.
Stuart: Fine, $1.

Penny: He can take care of himself. We went over Stranger Danger and gave him that whistle.

Leonard: It's dark out and he's alone. I don't like it. Let's go get him.
Penny: It's sweet how you look out for him. You're a good guy.
Leonard: It's not just that. My mother would kill me if I let something happen to him.

Stuart: I was wondering if I could crash at your place for a few nights.
Raj: Sure, of course. Oh, actually Emily was going to spend the night.
Stuart: You slept with her? Nice.
Raj: I can't take all the credit. She let me do it to her.

Leonard: Seriously? You don't even have a change of clothes or a toothbrush.
Sheldon: My plan is to stop at malls and buy what I need. It's called living off the land.

Penny: He'll be okay. You taught him well, Padawan.
Sheldon: Good Lord. Padawan is the student, not the teacher.
Penny: Seriously, let him go.

Stuart: How about those guys on that bench over there? They look pathetic. Maybe we could talk to them.
Raj: That's a mirror.