Professor Proton: (To Penny) So, you have any single grandmothers?
Penny: Sorry, they're both married.
Professor Proton: Good. .... Happily?

Professor Proton: Can I ask you a question?
Leonard: Yeah, sure.
Professor Proton: Why do you put up with Sheldon?
Leonard: Oh, you know because we're friends.
Professor Proton: Why?
Leonard: Wow, you ask really hard questions. Look, I know he can be aggravating, but what you have to remember is he's not doing it on purpose, it's just how he is. But he's also loyal and trustworthy and we have fun together.
Professor Proton: You know you're describing a dog?
Leonard: He did bite me once. But in his defense, I came up behind him while he was eating.
Professor Proton: They hate that.
Leonard: Sheldon is the smartest person I have met. He's a little broken and he needs me. And I guess I need him too.
Professor Proton: Why is that?
Leonard: Boy, you will not let this go, will you?

Leonard: Oh, gees.
Professor Proton: Another photo from Sheldon?
Leonard: No, I have to go pick him up. Bill Nye ditched him at the smoothie place.
Professor Proton: He probably stole his wallet too.

Raj: *Imitating Howard* My name is Howard. I can make your hair into diamonds. My mom is morbidly obese. Everyone love me.

Raj: There are just some things I feel more comfortable sharing with the girls. Because they won't make fun of me, or call me names, or ask me if my Koothrapanties are in a bunch.

Amy: (Talking about Howard & Raj) They are going to have sex before Sheldon and I do. I knew it!

Howard: Look who's here to put the Jew in Jewellery night.

Amy: So what tools did you bring?
Howard: Everything we need to make jewellery moulds. Here's some silver, a crucible, and an acetylene torch to melt it down.
Penny: Ooh, that looks fun.
Bernadette: Maybe you should master glue before you move onto fire.

Howard: I was going to make a necklace for my mom but unfortunately she doesn't have a neck. She's just chins and fat and feet.

Leonard: Okay, we're almost ready to go. Once we bond the wires, we can test the tubes.
Professor Proton: This is so exciting. I feel like I'm seventy-five again.

*Leonard's phone vibrates*
Leonard: Oh, God.
Professor Proton: What is it?
Leonard: Sheldon just sent me a picture of him and Bill Nye getting smoothies.

Professor Proton: If someone had told me people would still call me Professor Proton when I was eighty-three years old, I never would have quit smoking.

Sheldon: As it happens, I'm also spending the day with a beloved children's science personality. Isn't that right, new friend and colleague Bill Nye, the Science Guy?
Sheldon: Sorry, I replaced you with a newer model.

Bill Nye: Wow, Arthur Jeffries. It's an honor to meet you. My show would never have happened without yours.
Professor Proton: That's what I told my lawyers.

Leonard: Mr. Nye, hello. I'm sorry he got you involved in this nonsense.
Bill Nye: He told me I'd be speaking to a class.
Sheldon: No, I said you were teaching someone a lesson.