Raj: What do you want to do?
Howard: I don't know. I... I'd just like him to go away. I can't deal with this.
Raj: All right, I've got your back.
Howard: Thank you. Come on. And I'd like to point out this wall just provided a lot of privacy!

Bernadette: Why don't you help with the coffee?
Raj: Okay, but something smells fishy. And not just because you work around sea animals. That actually sounds interesting, and I'd like to learn more about it.

Raj: You here looking for money?
Josh: No.
Raj: A kidney, cornea, piece of his liver?
Josh: No.
Raj: You're in a Beatles cover band and you need Howard to replace your dad as Ringo.

Raj: Enough chit chat. How do we know you are who you say you are?
Josh Why would I lie?
Raj: Okay, you got me there.

Bernadette: So, Josh, what do you do?
Josh I'm studying oceanography down in San Diego.
Bernadette: Aww, how nice.
I love Finding Nemo.

Sheldon: I'll get the blankets, you Google how to have child-like fun.

Sheldon: It reminds me of when my stupid brother and sister would build forts in the living room, and wouldn't let me in. I hated that so much.
Amy: You know, there's nothing I can do about getting you invited to the symposium, but if you wanted we could build a fort.
Sheldon: Isn't that a little juvenile?
Amy: More juvenile than this? *Puts up picture of smiling Sheldon to her face*

Sheldon: I can just picture them right now at Feynman's house. Probably discussing Schrodinger, and at the same time not discussing Schrodinger.
See, they're missing out on hilarious jokes like that.

Amy: When there was a lice epidemic at my school, everybody got it except me. I tried to fool everyone by sprinkling sugar in my hair, but I just got attacked by bees.

Amy: Being left out is a terrible feeling. No one understands that better than I do.
Sheldon: Hey, look at that. Even in your example, you're all by yourself.

Sheldon: You know what? I used to be a fan of evolution, but I've since evolved, and now I think it's dumb.

Kevin Smith: I'm actually in pre-production on a movie right now. Way different than anything I've ever done before. It's called Clerks 3. You should come over and read for a part.
Penny: Oh, my, I would love that.
Leonard: You have a new job.
Penny: Well, maybe I can do both.
Leonard: I don't think you can do both.
Penny: I don't think I asked you.
Kevin Smith: Yeah, you tell him, Penny.
Leonard: Stay out of it, Kevin Smith.

Kevin Smith: Anyway, man, I dug the ape movie, Penny. And I thought you were, like, really great in it.
Penny: Aw.
Wil Wheaton: You know, I'm in the movie, too.
Kevin Smith: Yeah, whatever.

Kevin Smith: So, Penny, listen, I saw your movie.
Penny: Oh, wow. I wish it was better.
Wil Wheaton: Oh, don't worry about it. Have you seen some of Kevin's films?
Kevin Smith: You're cruisin' for a beatin', Wheaton.

Kevin Smith: Hey, man, yo, is everything okay, Wil? 'Cause it's been, like, two minutes and you haven't even brought up Stand By Me.