Sheldon: What would constitute a perfect day for you?
Penny: Well, I'd probably sleep in. Do a little yoga. Then lie on the beach while cute cabana boys brought me drinks, and probably get a massage. Then probably cap off the night with some dancing.
Sheldon: That's it?
Penny: Yeah, why?
Sheldon: You didn't mention Leonard.
Penny: He's there.
Sheldon: I don't think so. Leonard can't stand yoga, the beach, massages or dancing.
Penny: Yeah, well, he brought a book.

Penny: What's yours?
Sheldon: I wake up. I enjoy some french toast with butter and syrup. Then a wormhole opens and whisks me millions of years into the future, where my towering intellect is used to save the last remnants of mankind from a predatory alien race.
Penny: Interesting you didn't mention Amy.
Sheldon: Who do you think made the french toast and syrup?

Leonard: Ladies,
Emily: Are you being polite or scared?
Leonard: Yep.

Raj: Okay, let's hope one of the clues is written on a pair of clean underwear.

Penny: Well, I can't read people's minds. Actually, that's not true, I can read men's minds, but only because it's usually the one thing.
Sheldon: When are we going to get robot eyes.
Penny: You're all alike.

Sheldon: Given our new found intimacy, I'd say we have some hard choices to make.
Penny: Like what?
Sheldon: Gary Con. Do we fly or drive? Do we wear costumes? And if so, who gets to be Gary?

Sheldon: An article was just published in Scientific American about our theory.
Leonard: Did they hate it?
Sheldon: No, no, they loved it. They couldn't say enough nice things about it.
Leonard: So what's the problem?
Sheldon: You know how the pennysaver only has my name on it?
Leonard: Sheldon!
Sheldon: They didn't mention you in the article, only me.
Leonard: Really?
Sheldon: I know. It's not fair. *massages Leonard's shoulders* Let the anger go, buddy. You just, you relax all your muscles, except for your pubococcygeus and anal sphincter. Let's keep those going.

Sheldon: I have mixed feelings about interviews. I like the part where I talk, but I do not like the part where the other man talks.

Amy: Sheldon, this article doesn't mention Leonard at all.
Sheldon: Oh, that can't be right.
Amy: It only refers to Dr. Cooper and his team. Did you even talk about him?
Sheldon: All I did was answer a few questions about the theory, and then express my gratitude that Scientific American doesn't include any of those smelly perfume cards.

Amy: Poor Leonard.
Sheldon: Why? The theory he came up with just got mentioned in Scientific American. He ought to be thrilled.
Amy: He might not be.
Sheldon: Maybe you're right. He is kind of a lump.

Amy: Remember that time you didn't get picked to pull the sword out of the stone at Disneyland and they let that other kid do it?
Sheldon: Oh, that kid!
Poor Leonard.
Amy: Exactly.
Sheldon: For the record, that kid was a terrible choice. If you cry when you drop your churro, you do not have what it takes to rule England.

Sheldon: It's like when Stan Lee and Steve Ditko invented Spider-man. Stan Lee may get all the credit, but Steve Ditko knows he was just as important. Even though Stan Lee gets to be in all the Marvel movies, and he's far richer, and he's a household name. You know, where as if you say Ditko, that sounds like a company that makes Dits.

Howard: Okay, how about this? Let's invite everyone over to dinner. It'll be like Ma's feeding us one last time.
Bernadette: I love that.
Raj: Me too. Oh look, we've got enough ketchup to cover every ounce of it.

Sheldon: Please, I have ideas all day long. Reverse SeaWorld where dolphins are allowed to pet people.
A new clothing size between medium and large called Marge.
Snow White retold from the point of view of Sneezy. Why won't Doc prescribe him something? We finally find out.

Raj: Okay. So we've got three briskets, four meatloafs, one lasagne.
Howard: No, that's noodle kugel.
Raj: One Jewish lasagne.