Penny: So, if you don't mind me asking, do you think you might start dating again?
Dr. Koothrappali: It's much too soon for that. Why, do you know someone?
Penny: No, but if things don't work out with me and Leonard, I'll call you. Wait, how much do you talk about Star Trek?

Sheldon: Let's see. What do I know about Amy? She loves medieval literature. Chaucer's her favorite. And her eyes sparkle when she watches old French movies. And I enjoy how harp music causes her fingers to dance as if she's playing along.
Bernadette: Wow, you really do love her.
Sheldon: I do. Now, let's find the kind of gift that makes her feel small and worthless.

Santa: All right, let me see if I've got this straight. A picture of you on my lap is a way to punish your girlfriend for making you celebrate Christmas?
Sheldon: Correct.
Santa: Santa thinks dating you might be punishment enough.
Sheldon: There's an argument for that, but I want to make sure.

Penny: It's kinda boring. Although it did get exciting for a minute when Amy inhaled a wool ball.

Raj: Amy, that pudding was delicious.
Sheldon: If you like raisins.
Amy: Thank you. And it's figs.
Sheldon: Oh. In that case, it was pretty good.

Penny: So, Dr. Koothrappali, long flight?
Dr. Koothrappali: Twenty hours.
Penny: Ooh, that's rough.
Dr. Koothrappali: Not at all. Did you know that when you fly Transcontinental without your wife, you don't pray for the plane to crash?

Dr. Koothrappali: Relax? Easy for you to say. Your mother isn't cleaning out your bank account. Forty years, the woman never cleaned a thing.

Bernadette: Why'd you turn it off?
Sheldon: Because in the last ten minutes, Santa came to town, kissed mommy, and ran grandma over with a reindeer. I had a drunk uncle who did all those things. Nobody sings songs about him.

Bernadette: So your evil plan here is to buy your girlfriend a present?
Sheldon: That's right. So stay on my good side, or maybe I'll get you a little something, too.

Sheldon: Eugh, English pudding. You get yourself all excited for pudding and here comes a cake with raisins in it.

Sheldon: Why do you hate me?
Amy: I don't hate you. I love you.
Sheldon: Well, you call it love but it has a lot of raisins in it.

Raj: Amy, good luck getting these guys excited about a dinner with a theme. I gave up when no one cared about my Tom Hanks-Giving.

Leonard: Ladies do love a guy dressed like a kitchen garbage bag.

Leonard: Do you know what a disaster this is?
Howard: You mean because this room isn't supposed to have dust in it, and we just let in a flying crap machine.

Dan: Well one thing I've been meaning to tell you, is that the company's gonna stop paying for our coffee.
Bernadette: No problem. When does that start?
Dan: Five months ago.
Bernadette: What? Who's been paying for my coffee.
Dan: All of us.
Penny: Yep, it comes from the swear jar we put money in when you curse.