Penny: Well you wouldn't have asked me either.
Leonard: I would have asked you. In my head. On the way home. While I was having a good cry.

Amy: You're making me worry. What's going on?
Sheldon: What's going is we're about to go to a prom and there's a great deal of pressure on young couples like us to engage in what Mr. Bob Eubanks called "makin' whoopee".

Stuart: So I met Jeanie at your Aunt Gladys's. She passed me the Manischewitz, I took one look at this punim, and almost plotzed on the kugel.

Raj: This is so messed up.
Emily: I know. I'm having the best time!

Stuart: Oh, so she's good enough for Howard but not for me?
Howard: Yeah.
Bernadette: Yeah. Go have weird relationships with your own mother and cousin. This is his turf.

Sheldon: I think I've come up with the perfect way for us to enjoy it.
Penny: Great. How?
Sheldon: We pretend we're aliens. We pretend we're aliens. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I'm gonna say that you love it and wanna hear more.

Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.

Leonard: I thought you were gonna pretend to be an alien.
Sheldon: I was, but Penny didn't want to. You didn't want to. Bernadette, Amy, Koothrappali and Wolowitz didn't want to. And even I knew it was weird to hire somebody.

Leonard: Was that a flask?
Sheldon: Yes. I've decided to embrace all the traditions associated with prom, including spiking the punch.
Leonard: You're gonna put alcohol in the punch?
Sheldon: Oh, no, this is pomegranate juice. It's all the fun of high-school hijinks, with the self-protecting zip of anti-oxidants.

Stuart: What are you talking about? There's nothing weird going on between me and your mother.
Mrs. Wolowitz (o.s.): Stewie, your bath is getting cold!

Amy: You went to seven proms?
Penny: Yeah. Let's see, four "under the seas", two "enchanted evenings", and one night to remember - that I can not remember for the life of me.

Raj: Ever since I saw Pretty in Pink, I've wanted to go to an American prom. But then I saw Carrie and did not want to go to an American prom. Then I saw Never Been Kissed and I'm back on the prom bandwagon. This prom things been a real rollercoaster.

Raj: Did you go to your prom?
Sheldon: No. I had a date with a proper education. Instead of a tuxedo, I dressed myself in good habits. Instead of spiked punch, I enjoyed the intoxicating flavor of knowledge. Instead of dancing in a gym, I shook my bootie to the seductive rhythms-
Penny: Okay, okay.
Sheldon: -of AP calculus.

Bernadette: Why can't he take your mom? You took her to your prom.
Howard: I didn't take her. She was a chaperone.
Bernadette: I saw a picture of you two dancing together.
Howard: Well what was I gonna do? They were playing our song.

Stuart: I'm not bringing your mother. I have a date.
Howard: Oh, so now you're cheating on my mother.