Bernadette: Guess who won a hundred dollars playing craps?
Penny: That's a dollar.
Bernadette: Guess who wildly over-tipped a cocktail waitress?

Amy: Penny, let's go. We found a place that has Australian male strippers.
Bernadette: We want to see if they twirl their junk in the other direction.

Penny: That sounds great but I have a little more studying to do.
Amy: Can you believe this nerd?
Bernadette: Come on, do you want to sit here being a loser, or do you want to watch me climb into an Australian man's G-string like a baby kangaroo.

Leonard: We keep procrastinating. We saw Back to the Future II, pigeons playing ping pong, a bunch of countries that look like genitals, and one guy whose genitals look like Denmark!
Raj: Yeah, sorry for clicking on that.

Bernadette: Have you ever seen a body so fine?
Amy: We had some pretty hot corpses in my anatomy class but none of them moved like that.

Howard: Since when do you read social science?
Sheldon: I go to the bathroom like everybody else.

Leonard: You didn't lose anyone when you met Amy.
Sheldon: The study refers to romantic partners. That's not the way I would categorize the two of us.

Raj: You guys kiss and hold hands.
Leonard: I've seen him do it. It's not romantic.

Raj: I'm not the kind of guy who drops his friends because he's in a relationship.
Leonard: What happens if she doesn't like us?
Raj: Hey, you're my dear friends. You'll get a Christmas card for a couple of years and then you're dead to me.

Leonard: Wow, Raj, you were not lying about her.
Raj: I told you she exists!

Emily: I'm a resident at Huntington Hospital.
Sheldon: Oh, I like their emergency room. You know, even if it turns out you don't have Dengue Fever, they still let you take a lollipop.

Sheldon: I have some odd freckles on my buttocks. Can I make an appointment for you to look at them?
Emily: Erm, okay, I guess.
Amy: I'm with him three years, nothing. She's with him two minutes and he's taking his pants off.

Bernadette: Did she say she didn't like you?
Penny: Of course not. Nobody ever says they don't like you straight to your face.
Amy: Heh, we have led different lives!

Penny: Yeah, maybe you're right. I used to think my high school P.E. teacher didn't like me, but it turned out she liked me a little too much.
Bernadette: Really?
Penny: Yeah. It was fine. We went to a Melissa Etheridge concert, I got an A, it all worked out.

Amy: You really went your entire life without anyone saying I hate you to your face?
Penny: Yeah.
Amy: I'd say it now, but look at those cheekbones.