Sheldon: I miss Stuart's place. All this loud music and exposed brick, is this a comic book store or a rave at the third little pig's house?

Howard: Yeah, I wish Stuart would reopen, I hate this place, too.
Leonard: Okay, him I believe because he's an eighty-year-old man in a fifteen-year-old's t-shirt. You're just upset about Stuart, your mom and all their HBOs.

Howard: You know, I can't even watch Game of Thrones now without thinking of my mother saying "Stuart, which one is Thrones?"

Sheldon: Boy, if there's one thing that gets my goat, it's those dadgum insurance companies.
Leonard: Why, because they won't get off your lawn?

Howard: All I know is he's got my mother buying four ply toilet paper. Four ply! If his butt is so delicate, why doesn't he use an Angora rabbit?
Sheldon: For starters, they shed and bite.

Penny: I brought coffee. I wasn't sure what you like, so I got a regular, a cappuccino and a chai tea. Since you like Raj, I thought you might be into that.

Penny: It has also been shown to cause significantly fewer side effects than other oral contraceptives. Although it can cause acne, which if you ask me kind of increases its effectiveness as a contraceptive.

Howard: You know, when I was a kid I loved going there but I could never get a ride.
Raj: Ooh, what if we got a van and drove around, and picked kids up?
Sheldon: Nice! Like at parks and schools.
Howard: Toy stores, puppet shows.
Leonard: Hold on, so your idea is to get a van and cruise the streets looking for kids to pick up?
Sheldon: Yes!
Leonard: And are you going to use candy to lure them in?
Raj: We are now!

Penny: You told Emily we hooked up?
Raj: Well, in my defense, I tell everybody.

Raj: Well, I would never leave you off my list. And not just because without you we're playing fast and loose with the word "list".

Penny: I don't know what Emily's so upset about anyway. Even if I had slept with him, so what? Everyone has a past.
Amy: Ahem.
Penny: Almost everyone has a past.

Leonard: Do you know how Penny told Raj he should have left her off his list.
Howard: Yeah.
Leonard: Do you think when she and I had that conversation she left people off her list?
Sheldon: I'm sure she did.
Leonard: Why?
Sheldon: Because if she hadn't, she'd still be wading through the list.

Leonard: Will you stay out of this?
Sheldon: If only Penny had said that once in a while.

Howard: So me and the guys were talking about this great investment opportunity.
Bernadette: Nope.
Howard: But you didn't hear what it was.
Bernadette: I know.

Bernadette: Fine, what is it?
Howard: It's to help re-open the Comic Book Store.
Bernadette: Nope.