Amy: Can you see how a grown man and accomplished scientist who invests in a store that sells picture books about flying men in colorful underwear might be wasting both his financial and intellectual resources?
Sheldon: No.
Amy: Then I think it's a terrific idea.
Sheldon: Great! Wait until you hear about our van.

Raj: It's true. You're both gorgeous. Kinda says something about the man who could bed you both. *Laughs* (To Emily) You get why I've been alone most of my adult life?

Raj: You suck, Wolowitz!
Howard: What's that about?
Raj: I'm heckling you. It's a beloved part of baseball.
Sheldon: He's right. And given that you're probably still waiting to be picked for a game that was played in fifth grade, I'm sure you do suck.

Penny: Hey, what's going on?
Leonard: Baseball.
Penny: Okay, that's not what I meant when I said go outside and play.

Penny: You guys are going out two nights in a row?
Sheldon: I missed a number of date nights while I was on my train trip, and I'm contractually obligated to make them up under the terms of the relationship agreement.
Penny: That's so hot.
Amy: It's better than hot, it's binding!

Amy: After a lively debate, that motion passed by a 2-0 margin.
Leonard: It's nice to see a busy couple keep the spark of bureaucracy alive.

Sheldon: Ignore them, Amy. They're just jealous because they'll never have a relationship as good as ours.
Penny: Isn't this when he says "bazooka" or something?

Amy: Here they go fighting again. You'd never hear her talk that way to sauvignon blanc.

Raj: So you never played baseball as a kid? Not even little league?
Howard: Well, I was going to but the day of tryouts I found my dad's Playboy collection. Threw my arm out.

Howard: There's no way this is sixty feet.
Bernadette: I'm looking at it!
Howard: You realize this isn't one of those times I want you to exaggerate how long something is.

Leonard: I've seen you guys ignore each other for hours, doing totally different things.
Sheldon: It's called parallel play.
Leonard: Yeah, toddlers do that.
Sheldon: Not as well as we do.

Sheldon: If you've got a problem basing a relationship on a contract, I'd like to tell you about thirteen plucky colonies that entered a relationship agreement called the U.S. constitution. And it may not be cool to say so, but I think that love affair's still pretty hot today.

Amy: It's a good thing I'm not wearing flag underwear right now, cause there's about to be a fire.

Bernadette: It's not that hard. You just look to where you want to throw it, step towards where you want to throw, and throw it.
Howard: That's your help? That's like saying "Here's how you fly a plane: get in the airplane and know where you want to go, and fly it."

Amy: So when you guys plan on getting married?
Penny: We're not sure, but I wanna wait long enough to prove to my mother I'm not pregnant.