Amy: Usually when someone's being talked about behind their back, it's me and it's right in front of my face.

Amy: I'm saying, in the spirit of science, what is that little skank's problem?

Raj: So I've been trying to come up with a cute couple's nickname for me and Emily. What do you like better "Emipalli" or "Koothrapemily".
Howard: Why is it your last name and her first name?
Raj: Well, her last name is Sweeny, and something just didn't seem right about Koothrapeeny.

Howard: And you love the sound of your own voice.
Sheldon: Well, of course I do. Listen to it. It's like an earful of melted caramel.

Amy: The important thing is I am here for you so we can mutually disparage this unpleasing third party.

Sheldon: Apparently I have a reputation for being "obnoxious".
Leonard: Whaaaaaat?

Raj: Oh, you bought cookies?
Sheldon: Yes, fig newtons. I was going to ask which scientist both helped to discover calculus and had a famous cookie named after him. And then after someone said Newton, I was going to tell them they're wrong. The cookies are named after a town in Massachusetts. And then I'd throw the cookies away.

Howard: Sheldon, I'm more than smart enough to take your class.
Sheldon: *Laughs* No.

Howard: Guess what, engineers are just as smart as physicists.
Sheldon: Oh! You take that back!

Amy: You better watch that attitude, buddy. You're dating the popular girl now.

Sheldon: Amy, please. I am trying to find a way to intellectually emasculate a dear friend of mine.

Sheldon: You shot your spit in my mouth!
Howard: Is that gonna be on the test? Because I don't think I can do that again.

Amy: Hey, girlfriend. Can I get a what what?
Penny: What?
Amy: Close enough. I was just calling to see what you were up to tonight. I thought maybe we could head up Color Me Mine, maybe sneak in some Pinot Gris- what evs.

Sheldon: Can't talk. Spit ball. Probably gonna die.

Leonard: Sheldon, I promise, your uvula does not have an STD.
Sheldon: Are you sure? It just doesn't feel as innocent as it used to.