Howard: You just started seeing women naked again. I don't want you to be confused about where the boobs should be.

Sheldon: You know, Sherlock Holmes liked to use cocaine to sharpen his focus. But I'm sure those cool ranch Doritos are doing the trick.

Leonard: So you never went outside?
Sheldon: Or had a single piece of fruit.

Penny: Well, I'm a people person. People like me. Some of my favorite people are people. I feel like I'm saying people a lot. People people people. Okay, I'm done.
Dan: Sure?
Penny: People. Yes.

Dan: You're scared of Bernadette?
Penny: Yeah, kinda.
Dan: I thought it was just me! Everyone thinks she's so nice with the little squeaky voice!

Sheldon: Amy, may I please have a moment of privacy to speak with my roommate?
Amy: We're in a moving car! What do you expect me to do, stick my fingers in my ears?
Sheldon: I was thinking put your head out the window like a dog, but that'll work.

Sheldon: Leonard, as soon as we get home, I want to have coitus with Amy. [checks for Amy's reaction] Okay, she can't hear.

Sheldon: Of course it's not a big deal to you. You idolize me and nothing could knock me off that pedestal you put me on.
Leonard: It's true. You are a God to me.

Amy: Sheldon, it's okay with me if you're not perfect.
Sheldon: Amy, can I have one more moment with Leonard?
Amy: Sure.
Sheldon: Amy just hurt my feelings. I wanna break up with her.

Leonard: If you had told anyone that you were going away on a train, by yourself, across the country, do you know what they would have said?
Sheldon: That I couldn't do it?
Leonard: Exactly. Right after they said 'yeah!'

Sheldon: I was the nation's smartest caterpillar and after pupating in our nation's railway system, I have burst forth as the world's smartest butterfly.

Leonard: A butterfly could have gotten himself home from Arizona.

Sheldon: I feel renewed. I'm ready to deal with any changes that come my way. [sees Penny] Your hair is different. You changed your hair. I can't take this. I'm out.