Raj: Well, I've seen you here before, Claire.
Claire: It's my first time. I'm looking for inspiration for this movie I'm writing.
Howard: You're a screenwriter?
Claire: Well, screenwriter / bartender / a month away from living in my car.

Raj: Yeah, I get that. I'm a scientist / party planner / small-dog enthusiast / guy who probably should have stopped at scientist.

Claire: Do you think I could pick your brain for my movie some time? It's animated sci-fi for kids.
Raj: Sure. I love animated movies.
Howard: He does, and he has the Lilo & Stitch collector plates to prove it.
Raj: Excuse me for wanting a little magic in my life.

Howard: What are you doing? You have a girlfriend.
Raj: So?
Howard: So, how do you think she'd feel about you helping a beautiful girl with her screenplay?
Raj: I wouldn't say she's beautiful.
Howard: Really? You don't think she's attractive?
Raj: I do. I just wouldn't tell my girlfriend.

Meemaw: Young lady, if you think I don't know what it's like to live with a stubborn, egotistical man, then you're wrong. 'Cause that was my husband.
Amy: Really?
Meemaw: There were days I wanted to fill his pockets with corn and toss him in the pigpen.

Raj: All right. I've made up my mind. I'm gonna do the right thing, call this girl, and let her know that I'm in a relationship.
Howard: Okay, so far we've heard, "Made up my mind, I'm dumping Emily."
Bernadette: "Made up my mind to date both of them by pretending to be twin brothers."
Howard: And "Made up my mind, 'll ask for a threesome and if they say no, play it off as a joke."
Raj: I'm calling her. And the threesome didn't deserve the belly laugh it got.
Bernadette: You're right. It could totally happen. (laughing)

Raj: Okay, we did have a vibe. This is exciting. What's my next move?
Bernadette: You still have a girlfriend.
Raj: Right. Good catch.

Raj: Anyway, so I'm sorry to waste your time. And, uh and good luck with your screenplay.
Claire: Hang on. We're both adults. We can still get together without it meaning anything.
Raj: Not me. Ever since you admitted we had a vibe, I've been planning our wedding.
Claire: Look, it's just coffee. I'll ask you some questions about science, and if you propose, I promise to say no.
Raj: Okay. That hurts a little, but okay.

Raj: So, uh, we're meeting for coffee like two adults. Everybody's happy. Easy peasy.
Bernadette: Are you gonna tell Emily?
Raj: Yeah, of course. We have no secrets.
Howard: When are you gonna tell Emily?
Raj: He lied about the cream cheese! He ate the whole thing! I saw him!

Amy: Look, I know you think I'm not right for Sheldon, but trust me, I'm his best shot. You have no idea how much I put up with!
Meemaw: I know more than you think I do.
Amy: Really? You know what it's like to have date night ruined because Google changed their font?

Sheldon: I always looked up to you and Pop-Pop. I know what a challenging man he could be, but I saw you stand by him and make him into a better person.
Meemaw: I did.
Sheldon: Yeah, well, that is exactly what I've been doing the last five years with this little work in progress.
Leonard: He never disappoints, does he?

Penny: Constance, are you sure I can't pour you some wine?
Meemaw: Oh, no wine for me. Sheldon's bringing me my whiskey.
Sheldon: Here you go, Meemaw. I made it just how you like - a lot in a glass.

Meemaw: Fine. If you feel so strongly, I won't stand in your way.
Sheldon: Thank you.
Amy: So if he wanted to give me that engagement ring, we would have your blessing?
Meemaw: I suppose.
(Amy rub's Sheldon's shoulder and smiles)
Sheldon: I just gave you my virginity, woman. Cool your jets!

Meemaw: Thank you, Moon Pie.
Amy: Uh, I'm curious. Why do you call Sheldon "Moon Pie?"
Meemaw: 'Cause he's so nummy-nummy.
Leonard and Penny: She could just eat him up.

Penny: Hi. Sorry. Sheldon would like to say something to you.
Sheldon: No, I wouldn't.
Leonard: Just get in here.
Sheldon: Hello.
Penny: Go ahead.
Sheldon: Meemaw, look, I'm sorry, but I have to defend my girlfriend to you.
Amy: Oh, Sheldon, thank you.
Sheldon: Oh, great, now you're gonna get emotional. (hands Amy a tissue from Meemaw's sleeve)