Raj: All right. I've made up my mind. I'm gonna do the right thing, call this girl, and let her know that I'm in a relationship.
Howard: Okay, so far we've heard, "Made up my mind, I'm dumping Emily."
Bernadette: "Made up my mind to date both of them by pretending to be twin brothers."
Howard: And "Made up my mind, 'll ask for a threesome and if they say no, play it off as a joke."
Raj: I'm calling her. And the threesome didn't deserve the belly laugh it got.
Bernadette: You're right. It could totally happen. (laughing)

Penny: Wow. The last time I saw my grandma, the most exciting thing was watching the ash of her cigarette get longer and wondering if it was gonna fall in her pudding.
Leonard: Did it?
Penny: Yeah, right in there. She ate it and everything.

Penny: What happened? Is Amy gone?
Sheldon: No. They asked me to leave so they could speak privately.
Penny: Uh oh.
Sheldon: Yeah, I know. It was quite tense. So here's the million dollar question. Uh, who wants to pop over there and get my trains?

Meemaw: So, Penny, I understand you have a new job.
Penny: Yes, I'm a pharmaceutical sales rep.
Meemaw: Oh. It's so wonderful that you modern gals can have it all. A husband and a full-time career.
Amy: I have a relationship and a full-time career, too.
Meemaw: That doesn't bode well.
Amy: Why not? You just said it's okay for her to work.
Meemaw: Well, Leonard doesn't need as much tending to as Sheldon does. And as Moonpie explained, Leonard's work is more of a hobby.
Leonard: That's my best friend.

Amy: Look, I get that you're protective of your grandson, but he's an adult now. Maybe I understand what he needs better than you do.
Meemaw: I appreciate your honesty, dear.
Amy: Thank you.
Meemaw: And here's some more honesty: I don't like you very much.
Amy: Well, maybe I don't like you either.

Sheldon: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You have to like each other. Well, we have a 4:30 reservation at Applebee's.
Amy: I think I should leave.
Sheldon: But why? Other than you two fighting, we're having such a good time.

Meemaw: Let her go. And under no circumstance will you give her that engagement ring.
Amy: What ring?
Leonard: Maybe we should give them some privacy.
Penny: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You go ahead. I'll catch up with you.

Amy: When did you get an engagement ring?
Sheldon: My mother gave it to me, and I had been thinking about giving it to you, but then we broke up.
Meemaw: Well, thank goodness for that.
Amy: Sheldon, will you please tell your grandmother to stay out of this?
Sheldon: Oh, I don't think I could do that.

Amy: You have an engagement ring?
Sheldon: Yes.
Amy: Penny, did you know about this?
Penny: All right, let's go.

Bernadette: The real question is, where are you with Emily?
Raj: Uh, it's hard to say. I think we're good, but things like this make me wonder if Emily's really the right person for me. I mean, did you guys ever have doubts about each other?
Howard: No. Never.
Bernadette: Absolutely.
Howard: What?
Bernadette: Howie, you forget how much of our early dates involved you doing magic and me doing this.
Howard: Fine. I had reservations about you, too.
Bernadette: No, you didn't.
Howard: No, I didn't.
Bernadette: Well, it doesn't matter now, 'cause I love how things worked out.
Howard: Me, too. And I think you're even more beautiful than this rose.

Meemaw: Sheldon, tell this girl that my ring will never be on her finger.
Sheldon: Yeah, I'm gonna opt out of that one, too.

Raj: Hey, it's not my fault if American women project their fantasies on foreigners with the kind of magical voice that grants wishes.

Amy: Sheldon, I understand that you're upset because you feel left out, but I don't know why we're even talking about this. Just apologize to them.
Sheldon: Fine, if that's what it takes to go on their dumb trip.
Amy: Maybe you could try apologizing because you actually feel bad. It's called empathy. It's something you could work on.
Sheldon: I have empathy. Watch. Leonard made me soup, and I was mean to him.
Amy: Great. Now try it as if this isn't your first day as a person.
Sheldon: Fine. Leonard made me soup, and I was mean to him. Hey, I felt a little something. Let me try again. Leonard made me soup, and I was mean to him. I was mean to him. He must have felt terrible. Oh, now I feel terrible.
Amy: Neat! Glad I could help.

Sheldon: Can you believe they planned a trip to Las Vegas and didn't invite me?
Amy: Did you refuse to apologize and act like they were stupid for being mad?
Sheldon: You know, I liked it better when there was still a little mystery left in our relationship.
Amy: Everyone tried to take care of you, and you were nothing but mean to them.
Sheldon: I can't believe you're not on my side. I was on your side when someone stole your car radio.
Amy: Who else's side could you have been on?
Sheldon: I don't know. A music-loving hobo with a heart of gold?

Amy: Hi, Sheldon. What's new?
Sheldon: Our friends are jerks, and I'm mad at all of them.
Amy: I said, "What's new?" but sure.