Sheldon: Leonard, get ready for an apology. And with the added twist of an M. Night Shyamalan movie, I'm going to mean it.
Leonard: Ah, so like every other M. Night Shyamalan movie I've seen, you spoil it in advance.
Sheldon: Hey, if you didn't know Bruce Willis was dead the whole time, that's not on me.

Sheldon: Now let me see you feel bad for lying and staying in Detroit longer than you needed to.
Amy: (monotone) I feel so, so bad.
Sheldon: Hey, we're both great at this.

Amy: Sheldon, I understand that you're upset because you feel left out, but I don't know why we're even talking about this. Just apologize to them.
Sheldon: Fine, if that's what it takes to go on their dumb trip.
Amy: Maybe you could try apologizing because you actually feel bad. It's called empathy. It's something you could work on.
Sheldon: I have empathy. Watch. Leonard made me soup, and I was mean to him.
Amy: Great. Now try it as if this isn't your first day as a person.
Sheldon: Fine. Leonard made me soup, and I was mean to him. Hey, I felt a little something. Let me try again. Leonard made me soup, and I was mean to him. I was mean to him. He must have felt terrible. Oh, now I feel terrible.
Amy: Neat! Glad I could help.

Sheldon: Can you believe they planned a trip to Las Vegas and didn't invite me?
Amy: Did you refuse to apologize and act like they were stupid for being mad?
Sheldon: You know, I liked it better when there was still a little mystery left in our relationship.
Amy: Everyone tried to take care of you, and you were nothing but mean to them.
Sheldon: I can't believe you're not on my side. I was on your side when someone stole your car radio.
Amy: Who else's side could you have been on?
Sheldon: I don't know. A music-loving hobo with a heart of gold?

Amy: Hi, Sheldon. What's new?
Sheldon: Our friends are jerks, and I'm mad at all of them.
Amy: I said, "What's new?" but sure.

Sheldon: Oh, fine. Then I'll just hang out with Wolowitz.
Leonard: He's coming, too.
Sheldon: Well, then Raj and I will-
Leonard: Nope.
Sheldon: Very well. Stuart.
Leonard: Oh, great. Do that.
Sheldon: Ugh, Stuart.

Howard: You know, Amy took some time off from him. Really improved their relationship.
Raj: Huh. Okay. As long as it doesn't end with us having coitus with him, I'm in.

Sheldon: I had a 101 fever. If that's not a time to verbally abuse my loved ones, when is?
Amy: Sheldon, when you're sick, you can be unbearable. That's why your friends have been known to work late or sneak out to the movies or stay at a neurobiology conference three days after it's ended.
Sheldon: You stayed in Michigan all week to avoid being around me?
Amy: No, no, not just that. I mean Detroit is beautiful when it's sleeting.

Sheldon: You know, I'm not the only one who's unpleasant when they're sick. When Penny got food poisoning, she threw up so loudly I could barely hear the television.
Amy: Ooh, I just heard something. Might be hail, might be gunfire. Either way, I'm gonna go take pictures.

Raj: Hey, Stuart.
Stuart: Hey. Where's Sheldon? Still sick?
Leonard: No, he's fine. We just needed a little break.
Stuart: Yeah, I get that. When I brought him his comics the other day, he said, "Oh, great, Death is literally at my door." He was being a jerk to everyone. Don't take it personally.
Stuart: Oh, I'm on so many antidepressants, I couldn't if I wanted to.

Raj: I wish we could do more stuff without Sheldon.
Leonard: I wish that all the time. Usually before I blow out birthday candles.

Leonard: So, the guys and I were talking about renting a party bus and everyone going to Vegas.
Penny: Oh, that could be fun. But just to be clear, you mean a party bus with booze and music, right, not, like, juice boxes and video games?
Leonard: Yes. And Howard's birthday was a drop-off party. You didn't have to stay.

Sheldon: Oh, where are we going?
Leonard: Well, Vegas, but-
Sheldon: Ugh, Atlantic City without the taffy? No, thank you.

Leonard: That's fine, 'cause actually you're not invited.
Sheldon: Well, now well, that's hurtful.
Penny: Oh, Sheldon, you don't even like it there.
Sheldon: I can consider a place America's urinal cake and still enjoy the occasional visit.

Howard: We should all take a trip or something.
Leonard: You know, Penny and I have been talking about taking a weekend in Vegas. Maybe we should all go.
Howard: Bernie would love that.
Raj: Ooh! Ooh! Maybe we could get one of those party buses to take us there.
Leonard: That sounds really fun.
Raj: Yeah, that sounds fun. A party-bus party don't stop. Ooh! When I say "party" you say "bus."
Leonard: No.
Howard: No.
Leonard: No.
Howard: No!