Sheldon: Oh, fine. Then I'll just hang out with Wolowitz.
Leonard: He's coming, too.
Sheldon: Well, then Raj and I will-
Leonard: Nope.
Sheldon: Very well. Stuart.
Leonard: Oh, great. Do that.
Sheldon: Ugh, Stuart.

Howard: We should all take a trip or something.
Leonard: You know, Penny and I have been talking about taking a weekend in Vegas. Maybe we should all go.
Howard: Bernie would love that.
Raj: Ooh! Ooh! Maybe we could get one of those party buses to take us there.
Leonard: That sounds really fun.
Raj: Yeah, that sounds fun. A party-bus party don't stop. Ooh! When I say "party" you say "bus."
Leonard: No.
Howard: No.
Leonard: No.
Howard: No!

Raj: I wish we could do more stuff without Sheldon.
Leonard: I wish that all the time. Usually before I blow out birthday candles.

Howard: You know, Amy took some time off from him. Really improved their relationship.
Raj: Huh. Okay. As long as it doesn't end with us having coitus with him, I'm in.

Raj: Hey, Stuart.
Stuart: Hey. Where's Sheldon? Still sick?
Leonard: No, he's fine. We just needed a little break.
Stuart: Yeah, I get that. When I brought him his comics the other day, he said, "Oh, great, Death is literally at my door." He was being a jerk to everyone. Don't take it personally.
Stuart: Oh, I'm on so many antidepressants, I couldn't if I wanted to.

Amy: Hi, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Hello.
Amy: Are you feeling any better?
Sheldon: Physically, yes, but I'm upset because everyone's mad at me for no good reason.
Amy: Why don't you tell me what happened, and in a gentle, loving way, I'll explain to you why you're wrong.

Sheldon: You know how, when you're sick, you're allowed to be cranky and say whatever you want and other people's feelings don't matter?
Amy: Ooh. Gentle and loving. This is gonna be tricky.

Sheldon: I had a 101 fever. If that's not a time to verbally abuse my loved ones, when is?
Amy: Sheldon, when you're sick, you can be unbearable. That's why your friends have been known to work late or sneak out to the movies or stay at a neurobiology conference three days after it's ended.
Sheldon: You stayed in Michigan all week to avoid being around me?
Amy: No, no, not just that. I mean Detroit is beautiful when it's sleeting.

Sheldon: You know, I'm not the only one who's unpleasant when they're sick. When Penny got food poisoning, she threw up so loudly I could barely hear the television.
Amy: Ooh, I just heard something. Might be hail, might be gunfire. Either way, I'm gonna go take pictures.

Bernadette: I brought you a little care package from work. It's our latest antiviral and the best decongestant we make.
Sheldon: I hope laughter is the best medicine, 'cause this care package is a joke.
Howard: Hey, she came all the way here- (Sheldon sneezes on Howard)
Bernadette: (Handing Howard the care package) You're gonna want to take these with food.

Raj: Sheldon, stop being a baby and let Emily take a look at you.
Sheldon: She's a dermatologist.
Emily: I went to medical school.
Sheldon: Well, in that case, try removing the irritating patch of brown skin standing next to you.

Leonard: All right, here you go.
Sheldon: Leonard, I'm dying.
Leonard: You're not dying. It's just the flu.
Sheldon: I asked for chicken noodle. This is chicken and stars. It's killing me.

Penny: Hey, so I saw a movie trailer the other day. How could Batman possibly fight Superman? I mean, isn't that dumb?
Bernadette: Maybe he uses Kryptonite.
Emily: Well, Batman's got a lot of money. Maybe he builds a suit that can do everything Superman can do.
Penny: No, no, no, no, no. I've seen that movie. It's called Iron Man.
Leonard: (softly) What is happening?
Howard: I don't know.
Raj: But it's beautiful.

Penny: And now Ben Affleck is Batman?
Emily: Oh, he was great in Shakespeare in Love.
Penny: Ooh, we should watch that next girls' night.
Bernadette: We could do a double feature with the Leonardo DiCaprio Romeo + Juliet.
Penny: Oh, I love me some Leo.
Leonard: And it's gone.

Sheldon: Oh, hello, everyone. I am happy to report I'm feeling much better.
Leonard: Good for you.
Sheldon: My fever is gone, my sinuses are pressure-free, and my mucus is as clear as a Yosemite waterfall.
Howard: Glad to hear it.
Sheldon: I'll be able to return to work tomorrow.
Raj: Yay.
Sheldon: Well, why isn't everyone happy? Your little ray of sunshine is ready to beam again.