Penny: You really don't know why?
Sheldon: No. But I knew that his "yay" was sarcastic. Not bad for a guy whose last bowel movement sounded like rain on a roof.

Sheldon: Penny, rub Vicks on my chest.
Penny: Sheldon, I cooked you breakfast. I made your bed. I checked your mouth for thrush. You can rub your own chest.
Sheldon: Oh, sure, grope every other male on the planet, but draw the line with me.

Stuart: (watching Howard and Bernadette sleep) I really miss this.

Penny: How can I not sound like his mother when our entire bedroom is filled with Star Wars toys? I mean, have you ever had sex with a stuffed Wookiee watching you?
Dr. Gallo: I went to college in the '70s; it was a hairier time. I'm gonna say yes.

Penny: You know, if anything, he's turning me into his mother. Before I did pharmaceutical sales, I was an actress. You know, I was pretty good. You know, girl-next-door type, but hot. Doable.
Dr. Gallo: Hmm.
Penny: And not only am I Leonard's mother, but we have this man-child living with us named Sheldon.
Dr. Gallo: Oh, Leonard talked a lot about him. I wasn't sure if he was real.
Penny: Yeah, he's as real as the fine I get when I use too much toilet paper.

Dr. Gallo: Wow, you really do have a lot on your plate.
Penny: I do. You know, Leonard's right. Talking to you is really helping.
Dr. Gallo: Oh, I'm glad. You know, you might also benefit from a prescription for anxiety.
Penny: Okay, if you think it'll help. Oh, just don't make it Placinex. I do not need sudden fits of homicidal rage.

Sheldon: Perhaps I should explain. While working with Koothrappali, we discovered an asteroid, and I named it after you.
Amy: Oh, Sheldon, thank you. That's so romantic. But what about Rajesh? He was okay with you choosing the name?
Sheldon: Well, it took a little negotiating, but I wore him down. Uh, we get the asteroid, and if you and I have children, they all have to be named Rajesh.
Amy: All of them?
Sheldon: Even the girls.
Amy: Okay, I think I know what to say now.

Penny: And in double-blind studies, Placinex proved extremely effective in treating all kinds of anxiety. Actually, funny story. The boys in the lab were worried about getting FDA approval for Placinex; they started taking it, stopped worrying.

Dr. Gallo: Got it.
Penny: Uh, do you have any questions?
Dr. Gallo: Just one. Mm-hmm? When you made your husband pretend to be a patient so you could get access to me, what were you thinking there?
Penny: I just meant a question about the drug.

Dr. Gallo: Let's put that aside for a minute and talk about why you married Leonard.
Penny: (whispering) I don't wanna.
Dr. Gallo: Here is a man raised by an overbearing woman who completely dominated every aspect of his formative years. Do you think he's perpetuating that relationship by seeking out a partner like you?
Penny: You know, I used to wear tank tops a lot. That was a big selling point.

Amy: Hi, Sheldon. What's up?
Sheldon: Good news. You're an asteroid.
Amy: Uh, please tell me what to say next.

Sheldon: Oh, Leonard, great news. We discovered a medium-sized asteroid together.
Leonard: Wow, that's amazing! I'm in a pretty great mood today myself.
Sheldon: Okay. Guess we're gonna talk about you now.
Leonard: Well, we are, because Dr. Gallo made me realize that I'm a worthwhile person and that my feelings matter.
Raj: I learned that for free from a cat poster, but good for you.

Sheldon: Okay, back to me. I discovered an asteroid, and now I get to name it.
Raj: Wait, what happened to us?
Sheldon: Now, this isn't about us, this is about what's best for the asteroid.

Leonard: What are you thinking of naming it?
Sheldon: I haven't settled on anything yet.
Raj: We haven't settled on anything yet.
Sheldon: All right, way to go, Cat Poster. You hang in there.

Leonard: You know what'd be nice? Name it after your girlfriends. Show them how much you care.
Raj: That is a great idea.
Sheldon: It's perfect. It appears romantic, but it's really just a rock in space that gets me out of Valentine's Day forever.
Raj: So, uh, what were you thinking? Combine their names?
Sheldon: I like it. Yeah, we'll take the "Am" from Amy and, uh, the "Y" from Emily.
Raj: That's just Amy.
Sheldon: Exactly. See how well we work together?