Howard: Hey, I just got an e-mail from the U.S. Air Force.
Raj: Open it.
Howard: Hmm. "We request a meeting at your earliest convenience regarding your quantum guidance system, provisional patent 62/295118." That's weird.
Raj: Is there a window around here we don't know about?
Howard: I'm sure it's just a coincidence.
Raj: Yeah, of course. What else could it be? (loudly) Boy, do I love America!

Bernadette: Who's going to officiate?
Penny: I was kind of hoping you would.
Amy: Wait, now I'm just some lousy maid of honor?

Sheldon: Hey, good news, I just got off the phone with my mother. She is coming to the wedding.
Penny: Okay, wait, you're inviting people to our wedding?
Sheldon: Yes, I'm inviting people to our wedding. Yeah, I've already asked Stephen Hawking and Robert Downey Jr, and, now don't get your hopes up, 'cause he's pretty busy, but Erno Rubik.
Bernadette: Who's Erno Rubik?
Sheldon: Seriously? He invented the Rubik's Cube.
Penny: Okay, fine, but why would you invite him to our wedding?
Sheldon: Because, despite his fame and fortune, he strikes me as a lonely man.

Leonard: I'd love it if my dad could come.
Penny: Oh, you have to invite him. I haven't seen him since the divorce.
Leonard: Oh, he's like a different man. He stopped twitching, and I think he grew an inch and a half.

Penny: Well, then it's settled. Yay. So funny. I never thought my second marriage would be to you.

Leonard: Hey.
Penny: Hi, how was the screening?
Leonard: Oh, Sheldon invoked Rosa Parks to make somebody who cut the line feel bad, but only the white people felt bad.
Penny: Ugh, I should've never bought him that colouring book that explains Black History Month.

Penny: Um, so listen, I don't know if you have any plans next weekend, but I kind of promised your mom we'd have another wedding ceremony so she could attend this time.
Leonard: Wait, we're gonna get married again?
Penny: Yeah, kind of, but now we can invite our friends and family.
Leonard: Seems like a lot of trouble for a hug.

Leonard: How'd it go with my mother?
Penny: Uh, you know, it started a little rocky, but I think we got to a good place.
Leonard: Wow. Well done.
Penny: Yeah, and when I dropped her off at the hotel, she even gave me a hug.
Leonard: Did she think you were choking or ...?

Penny: Hey, look, then forget about her, let's do it for us. We could keep it small and informal. This time we can invite our families.
Leonard: Is your brother out of prison?
Penny: Thanks to overcrowding, yeah.

Penny: Come on, it'll be fun, and, you know, your mom was genuinely hurt we didn't invite her to the first one.
Leonard: Look, in our defense, it was kind of a spur of the moment thing, and also, we don't like her.
Penny: Leonard, come on, she's your mom. If we can do something to make her happy, why wouldn't we?
Leonard: I just said why, we don't like her.

Penny: Wow. Okay. Well, um, how about this? Maybe while you're still in town, Leonard and I could have another small ceremony. You know, if you're interested.
Beverly: I would find that perfectly acceptable.
Penny: She would find it perfectly acceptable. You guys saw it. We bonded!

Penny: You really think we made a mistake?
Beverly: At the time I did. But I've never seen Leonard so happy, so perhaps I was wrong.

Bernadette: Howie? You doing okay? You've been in there a while.
Howard: (In the bathroom) I'm fine. Be right out.
Am I an American hero? Well, that's a good question, Jim. Dont you think once an astronaut leaves the planet, he's a hero to all the nations of the Earth? (Toilet flush) Okey dokey. I think I have time for one more question.

Sheldon: Now, let's follow in that brave woman's footsteps, and stand up for ourselves. And, and I realize that she stood up by remaining seated, but now is not the time to enjoy the irony of that. Now, I ask you again. Who here takes issue with this person?
Woman: Why should we listen to you? You cut the line yourself.
Sheldon: I most certainly did not.
Woman: I saw you.
Guy: If you're feeling dizzy, it's because the tables have turned.
Sheldon: Excuse me, I paid someone to wait in line for me, and then when I arrived, he left, so what you saw, my good woman, was swapsies, not cutsies.

Sheldon: You know, right now, at the back of this line, there's a movie fan like you who's not going to get in, because this person simply doesn't care. Yeah, well, 61 years ago, there was another person at the back of the line and her name was Rosa Parks.
Leonard: (To Raj) Okay, you may have to pretend you're black to get us out of here.