Bernadette: Can we really help?
Howard: While we finish soldering these boards, it'd be great if you guys could wrap these pipe fittings with Teflon tape.
Leonard: I'll show you how to do one.
Penny: Hey, wouldn't it be funny if after all your years of hard work, I'm the one who makes a scientific breakthrough? (To Bernadette) He doesn't think that's funny.

Leonard: Penny says they're having fun working on the prototype.
Howard: Remember when her fun was nightclubs and drinking games?
Leonard: I know. I'm lowering the bar so slowly. This time next year she'll have a coin collection.

Cinema Worker: Excuse me. You guys interested in a free screening of an upcoming movie?
Leonard: Oh. Sorry, we can't.
Howard: Well, hang on. What movie is it?
Cinema Worker: Oh, I can't tell you. But it does star Will Smith.
Howard: Wait. I bet it's Suicide Squad. Let's check it out.
Leonard: What about the girls?
Howard: Penny just said they're having fun. Honestly, you want to wrap tape around a bunch of pipe fittings all afternoon?
Leonard: Okay, we'll take 'em. But, I swear, if it's Will Smith in Shark Tale 2, it better be at least as good as the original.

Penny: I mean, it's crazy, isn't it? I moved here from Nebraska to be an actress, and now I'm sitting in an engineering lab at Caltech helping to build a prototype for a high-tech guidance system.
Bernadette: It is crazy. It's also crazy that I've made fourteen of these and you've made three.

Bernadette: Since when do you work on weekends?
Raj: I'm an astrophysicist. The stars don't take a day off.
Penny: You were home alone and had no one to play with?
Raj: Well, the cleaning lady was there, but she doesn't like me.

Raj: Okay. Would you ladies please leave the room for a moment?
Penny: Why?
Raj: I need to rub my genitals on their prototype.
Bernadette: What's going on?
Raj: Leonard and Howard dont have a flat. They went to the movies. Look.
Penny: Un-freakin' believable.
Bernadette: Son of a bitch!

Amy: It's okay, Sheldon. You know, I've saved a lot of weird things, too.
Sheldon: Like what?
Amy: Well, um, did you know I have a microscope slide with a little bit of tissue from the first brain I ever dissected?
Sheldon: I have an old teddy bear I secretly wiped my nose on for years.
Amy: It's not a contest.

Penny: Okay, here they come.
Bernadette: Go hide.
Raj: Oh, man, when I come out of the closet, I'm gonna nail those guys! Yeah, I heard it. Shut up.

Raj: (Inside the closet) Don't forgive them. Stay mad at them.
Howard: What is he doing in there?
Raj: Busting you.
Bernadette: It's okay. They apologized.
Penny: Yeah, it's fine.
Raj: Well this is kind of anti-climactic.
Howard: You know what wasn't anti-climactic? The end of the movie. Get this.
Raj: No spoilers. No spoilers.
Penny: And he's back in the closet.

Sheldon: It's nice to get back to nature. Why don't I do this more often? What a beautiful forest. Hello, little butterfly. What's your na -- Oh!
Leonard: What'cha doing?
Sheldon: I was enjoying some virtual reality, until you ruined it with your actual face.

Leonard: Why are you pretending to be outdoors? You hate it.
Sheldon: Oh, Amy showed me a compelling study that demonstrated the cognitive benefit of spending time in the wilderness.
Leonard: Buddy, I am ready to drive you into the wilderness any time you want and leave you there.

Sheldon: Well, make your jokes, but some of the participants who spent four days in the woods away from all technology reported a fifty percent gain in reasoning skills upon their return.
Penny: Okay, if that's true, why aren't there more genius squirrels?
Sheldon: (Hands Penny the virtual reality headset) You may need this more than I do.

Bernadette: Come on, Raj, give me a bag.
Raj: No, no, you're pregnant. The only thing you carry is our hope for a better tomorrow.

Penny: Hey. Amy's downstairs.
Leonard: Okay, one sec.
Penny: Uh, what, what you got goin' on here?
Leonard: I bought a baseball cap.
Penny: I can see that. What team did you get?
Leonard: Uh, Hufflepuff, from Harry Potter.
Penny: Well, we'll be in the woods.

Howard: What the hell are you watching?
Bernadette: Raj found all these childbirth videos online. This one is of a woman giving birth in a river.
Howard: Okay, that is the least Jewish thing I've ever seen in my life.