Sheldon: Well, cell service is down to one bar, so if anyone needs medical attention or to tell a stranger their political views are stupid, now's the time.
Amy: Have you ever been off the grid before?
Sheldon: Once. The battery ran out on my phone. I had to wait for my iPad to turn on.
Leonard: I was afraid he was gonna eat me.

Penny: Hey, let's light a fire.
Amy: Ooh, that sounds cozy.
Leonard: I don't think I've lit a real fire before.
Sheldon: Ah, it's basic thermodynamics. I'm sure we can figure that out.
Leonard: I could stack the logs conically to facilitate airflow.
Sheldon: That would maximize oxygen for optimal combustion.
Leonard: Right. So all we need is to...
Penny: Got it.
Leonard: A scientist made that.

Penny: Hey, you guys want to play a drinking game?
Sheldon: Oh, well now, we'll never win. You always play the drinking game.
Penny: Not the drinking game, a drinking game.
Leonard: To be fair, good at both.

Leonard: Okay, I'll go. Never have I ever been arrested.
Sheldon: So I drink.
Amy: No, it's only if you've done it.
Sheldon: Got it.
Amy: I can't believe you've been arrested.
Sheldon: I can't believe Penny hasn't.

Raj: Oh, that's Claire. Got to run.
Leonard: I thought you were back with Emily.
Raj: Uh, actually I'm seeing both of them.
Leonard: You mean like through their window from behind a bush?

Sheldon: What, why did you get a party sub?
Leonard: People are coming over, it looked fun.
Sheldon: Well, we're only watching Game of Thrones. A party sub implies it's a party.
Leonard: Your attendance implies its not.

Sheldon: Of course, this will require a vote. Unfortunately, my official gavel is in my bedroom, but luckily I have my travel gavel.

Raj: Man, I'm worn out.
Howard: I know. Imagine if we were actually moving.
Raj: No, it's just, ever since I started dating Claire and Emily at the same time, it's exhausting.
Howard: You're exhausted? Try folding every five pages in a pregnancy book so your wife thinks you've read it.

Raj: Hey, how's the mommy-to-be?
Bernadette: Good. A little tired.
Raj: I feel you. I've been dating multiple women.

Howard: You sure you don't want to come watch Game of Thrones with us?
Bernadette: You guys have fun. I'm just gonna snuggle up in bed with a book.
Raj: Oh, that sounds great, a bed to yourself. Can't even remember what that's like.

Sheldon: All this could be avoided if you'd just come to the meeting.
Leonard: I don't want to.
Sheldon: Oh, it's just a meeting. One simple meeting.
Leonard: Stop saying meeting.
Sheldon: Meeting, meeting, bow-beeting, banana-fana, fo-feeting, fee-fi mo-meeting.
Amy: I brought my famous spinach dip.
Sheldon: Yeah, Amy, just one second. Meeting.

Amy: Well, I know how he feels. I never enjoyed our relationship agreement meetings.
Sheldon: Wait. You were pretending?
Amy: Sorry.
Sheldon: No. I don't believe you. I could tell.
Amy: (feigning excitement) Oh, Sheldon, I never thought re-filing a matter in a standing subcommittee could be so fascinating.
Sheldon: Hmm, what do you think?
Penny: You don't know?

Howard: So what the hell happened?
Leonard: Oh, I just ran out of patience with Sheldon's nonsense.
Howard: Tell me about it. I've had it with Raj, too.
Amy: You know, like women, men have a monthly hormone cycle. Dips in testosterone can cause irritability.
Howard: Interesting. Maybe my male cycle synced up with Raj's actual period.
Leonard: If Sheldon's testosterone dipped, he'd become a butterfly.

Amy: Well, I just took your side 'cause sometimes I get annoyed at how close Sheldon and Penny are.
Leonard: Well, they argue all the time. They aren't that close.
Amy: Whos always comforting him when he's upset?
Leonard: Penny, but-
Amy: Who's the only one who can make him take his medicine when he's sick?
Leonard: I try to hide it in his peanut butter, but he spits it out.

Leonard: Oh, well, then you'll enjoy this. Bernadette does the same thing with you and Koothrappali.
Howard: No, she doesn't.
Leonard: She defends him all the time.
Howard: She does not.
Amy: Who told you to stop making all those Gandhi jokes about him?
Howard: Well, she did. And human resources.
Leonard: Who do you think told Koothrappali to go to human resources?
Howard: Son of a bitch.