Penny: Amy, why did you tell him that?
Amy: Because you were defending Sheldon like you always do.
Penny: I don't always defend Sheldon.
Leonard: Oh, yes, you do. You know you have a weird brother-sister / Elliott - E.T. relationship with him.

Amy: Well, I'm going. You couldn't stop me from getting a massage at the mall, and you're not stopping me now.
Sheldon: I shouldn't have to see my girlfriend get groped in public by another man.
Amy: And I shouldn't have to see my boyfriend riding on a train for children around the mall.
Penny: The little choo-choo for toddlers?
Amy: And now you know why I needed the massage.

Howard: Well, we're out. Bernie can't drink 'cause she's pregnant. And she's pregnant because we had sex. And we had sex because, well, (points to his body) come on.

Bernadette: I guess we could give it a try.
Sheldon: Well, little lady, you've heard of party hearty, get ready to party hardly.

Raj: Hey, Claire.
Claire: Hey, what's up?
Raj: Hi, yeah. Um, I was wondering, if you're free Saturday night, all my friends are going to a wine tasting.
Claire: Sure, I guess. If you don't think meeting your friends is too big a step.
Raj: Why would it be too big a step?
Claire: I don't know. I just don't want things to get weird.
Raj: Nothing to worry about. People meet people all the time, and it isn't weird. I met Bon Jovi once, which you'd think might be weird. Turns out, total sweetheart.
Claire: Okay, but you and I have been keeping things casual. Uh, will you introduce me as your friend or as your girlfriend? What if I like them and they don't like me? What if they like me and I don't like them?
Raj: Boy, it wasn't this hard with Bon Jovi. I said you rock, he said "Thanks, man," and that was that.

Howard: Hey. Where is everybody?
Amy: Oh, we're the first ones here.
Howard: Oh, cool.
Amy: Yeah, cool.
Howard: You know, I don't remember the last time it was just you and me hanging out.
Amy: Oh, I do. It was three years ago.
Howard: Oh, yeah, and we said we should do it more often. And, and, and, and here we are.

Amy: I'm getting an earthy note.
Penny: Ah, there's definitely some oak.
Raj: Also, uh, cherries?
Leonard: I smell nothing.
Howard: Really? Nothing?
Leonard: Just a whole lot of Afrin.

Sheldon: And last but not least, this is one that I like to call Star Wars Toast because it has a light side and a dark side. All righty, it's time for Dungeons & Dragons.
Bernadette: Dungeons & Dragons? That sounds about right.

Penny: Fine, if you really want me to, I will pick your mom up.
Leonard: Seriously?
Penny: Yeah, you know what, she is my mother-in-law and I'd like for us to have a good relationship.
Leonard: That is very mature of you. So I'm gonna go ahead and say, suckah.

Sheldon: All right, back to learning.
Penny: Okay.
Sheldon: Oh, easy. Bill Nye the Science Guy.
Penny: Or as I know him?
Sheldon: Creepy old dude from Dancing with the Stars.
Penny: Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

Sheldon: Now, let's follow in that brave woman's footsteps, and stand up for ourselves. And, and I realize that she stood up by remaining seated, but now is not the time to enjoy the irony of that. Now, I ask you again. Who here takes issue with this person?
Woman: Why should we listen to you? You cut the line yourself.
Sheldon: I most certainly did not.
Woman: I saw you.
Guy: If you're feeling dizzy, it's because the tables have turned.
Sheldon: Excuse me, I paid someone to wait in line for me, and then when I arrived, he left, so what you saw, my good woman, was swapsies, not cutsies.

Penny: You really think we made a mistake?
Beverly: At the time I did. But I've never seen Leonard so happy, so perhaps I was wrong.

Leonard: Where is everything?
Sheldon: In my present, it's in the future. In your present, it's been crammed in the bedroom by an enterprising young man I met in The Home Depot parking lot.

Leonard: What about what you said in the restaurant?
Penny: Well, it's not forever. It's just for a while. If you want, we can think of him like he's our dog.
Sheldon: You can. I'm happy when you come home. And I'm scared of fireworks.
And by the way, on July 4th, we're all sleeping here.
Leonard: Fine.

Bernadette: So how can we help?
Stuart: Well, I know more women are buying comics than ever, but for some reason, I can't get 'em in here.
Penny: All right. Well, what have you tried so far?
Stuart: Uh, I've been stocking more female-oriented titles. In the bathroom, I folded the end of the toilet paper into a triangle. And, uh, you are now sitting in the official breastfeeding area.