Sheldon: In general, would you say that you smell better, worse or the same as you do right now?

Sheldon: I was going to ask you what is the best fruit, but then I realized what I want to ask you is, "Why is there a Band-Aid on your forearm?" But then I realized what I really want to ask you is, "Can you just go?"

Sheldon: You're healthy. You have a job in the sciences. I've got to say, if this credit report comes back good, you're the frontrunner.
Amy: (via video chat) I'm not gonna be your roommate, Sheldon.
Sheldon: But I met with 11 people, and they all walked out. And that Hollywood phony Chris Pratt never tweeted me back.

Raj: Okay, so it's a, it's a David and Goliath story. It's about man against God. It's called "Hammer and Whip: The Untold Story of Thor vs. Indiana Jones."
Howard: Thor vs. Indiana Jones? You just blew my filking mind.

Raj: Okay, I don't have it all worked out yet, but I was thinking something like:
"Oh, Indy. Oh, Indy. The skies are so windy. Is that a flying man with a killer bod? Wait That's no man, it's a Norse god."

Howard: "Thunder clapped as Thor raised his mighty hammer. Indy rapped, 'That's one bad mamma-jamma.'
Raj: That-that is so good!
Howard: Right? Mamma-jamma just came to me.

Raj: Dude, if we do this, we're gonna need a cool band name.
Howard: You know, I've actually had one I've been sitting on for years.
Raj: Really?
Howard: It was for this power trio I tried to put together in junior high, but I was short two friends.
Raj: What is it?
Howard: Footprints on the Moon.
Raj: I just got chills.
Howard: So did I.
Stuart: Me, too. But I might have Lyme Disease.

Penny: I'm proud of you. You're taking this really well.
Sheldon: Well, it's not like I'm never going to see you two again. Which brings us to article 23 subsection C. Please check here to reserve your spot at the ten year roommate reunion.
Leonard: Do I really have to do that now?
Sheldon: No, but if you want chicken and get stuck with the fish, that's on you.

Sheldon: Oh, and lastly, please initial here to confirm that ownership of the living room couch is hereby transferred to me in perpetuity all throughout the universe and all alternate universes except for those universes where owning a couch is forbidden by the hive queen. In which case, all glory to the hive queen.

Sheldon: All right, now all that's left is for us to sign and date the document, and we will officially no longer be roommates.
Penny: What's the matter?
Leonard: It's harder than I thought.
Sheldon: Let me help you. L-E-O-N-
Leonard: That helped!

Raj: Have you seen this Archie comic? It's actually Archie versus Predator.
Howard: How could Archie defeat Predator?
Raj: I don't know. Maybe Jughead's a Terminator.

Stuart: Do you guys know any musicians?
Howard: Why?
Stuart: I was thinking it might be cool to have live music here a few nights a week. You know, give this place more of a "staying in business" vibe.

Howard: What kind of music are you thinking of?
Stuart: I like all kinds of music, but my favorite genre is free.

Raj: Hey, we've always talked about playing together.
Howard: Well, it could be fun to try a little acoustic thing.
Raj: Oh, we could play "filk" music.
Stuart: What's that?
Raj: It's been around for years. It's like folk music, but with a sci-fi/fantasy theme.
Stuart: I like it. It sounds exactly like something I shouldn't be expected to pay for.

Sheldon: Thank you for letting me come speak with you.
Bernadette: Of course.
Sheldon: As my relationships with Penny and Amy are currently strained, I'm turning to you for female comfort and encouragement.
Bernadette: Aww, I'm honored.
Sheldon: I tried reaching out to my mother, but she was in Bible study. Leonard's mother is on a book tour. My Mee-Maw was taking a nap. And after a while Siri started repeating her answers.
Bernadette: So, I'm your seventh choice.
Sheldon: Yeah, I know, top ten. Pretty exciting.