Howard: I don't need this. I'm quitting the band!
Raj: Fine, I quit, too!
Howard: Then get out of my house!
Raj: With pleasure!
*door slams*
*Howard sighs*
Howard: Raj, wait!
Raj: What took you so long?

Leonard: Buddy, I know me moving in with Penny feels like a big change, but it's not.
Sheldon: How can you say that? Amy's gone, and you two are married now, so it's only a matter of time before you're gone, too.
Penny: Okay, you don't know what's gonna happen.
Sheldon: No, I do. Eventually you'll want more space and you'll move into a house. And then instead of dinner a couple of times a week, it'll only be a couple of times a month. And then it'll only be on special occasions, like when Bernadette divorces Wolowitz.
Or-or-or like when Koothrappali's weird girlfriend admits where she buried his body.
Or Amy's wedding, where she's marrying someone better than me.

Penny: Okay, look, we don't need to rush into anything. All right? Maybe instead of Leonard moving in with me, we just leave things the way they are, and sometimes we'll sleep over there, and sometimes we'll sleep over here.
Sheldon: But mostly here?
Penny: Sure.

Leonard: What about what you said in the restaurant?
Penny: Well, it's not forever. It's just for a while. If you want, we can think of him like he's our dog.
Sheldon: You can. I'm happy when you come home. And I'm scared of fireworks.
And by the way, on July 4th, we're all sleeping here.
Leonard: Fine.

Sheldon: Just give me one minute, and I'll get started on a new Roommate Agreement.
Yeah, nothing from Pratt. We're good.

Raj and Howard: Indy' whip snapped. Thor's hammer missed. It was Avenger vs archeologist. Indy held his ground. And straightened his fedora. Thor said, "That's a nice look In 1944-a".
Thor and Dr. Jones. Thor and Dr. Jones. One plays with lightning. The other plays with bones. Thor and Dr. Jones. Thor and Dr. Jones. Thor and Dr. Jones. One plays with lightning. The other plays with bones.
Stuart: Play something we can dance to.

Sheldon: Would you pass the mustard.
Leonard: Sure. Hey, you wanna hear a fun fact about mustard?
Sheldon: Is it that the glucosinolates that give mustard its flavor were evolved by the cabbage family as a defense against caterpillars?
Leonard: Yeah.
Sheldon: Well, that was fun. Good for you, Leonard.

Sheldon: Well, I'd hardly call this kidnapping. Where's the blindfold? Where's the duct-tape? Where's the part where you call me and demand ransom? And I try to keep you on the phone but you hang up seconds before I can trace it. And then I say, "I'm getting too old for this crud."

Sheldon: Unhand me! This is ridiculous.
Howard: I told you to put tape on his mouth.
Raj: And I told you he bit me!

Sheldon: It's bad enough that I'm being taken against my will. I don't see why it has to be in some hippie's mobile sex dungeon.

Howard: Well, Sheldon, there's something about this van that you're going to find very interesting.
Sheldon: It runs on syphilis?

Leonard: This was Feynman's van? This is so cool.
Raj: Yeah, nothing's been changed since he drove it.
Howard: Bet he picked up a lot of cute grad students in this bad boy.
Sheldon: And talked about physics with them.

Leonard: So, are you going to give us a clue where we're headed?
Raj: Okay. Let's see. They've got spicy food and there's a chance you'll get diarrhoea.
Leonard: India.
Raj: We can drive there.
Leonard: Your house?

Howard: We are going to Me-he-co.
Leonard: Fun! I've never been there.
Sheldon: Leonard, don't be fooled. I'm from Texas. Me-he-co is Spanish for Mexico.

Raj: What's wrong with Mexico?
Sheldon: Uh, Mariachi bands, wild dogs, beans that jump around because there's a worm inside.