Howard: Calm down. There's a theme to this weekend. We are going to Mexico in Feynman's van to stay at the vacation house Feynman bought with the money from his Nobel prize.
Sheldon: Viva la Imodium. Ay, ay ay!

Bernadette: Come on, Leonard's doing bachelor stuff. You sure we can't take you to a strip club?
Penny: Nah, if I want to see a naked dancing man, I just flush the toilet while Leonard's in the shower.

Amy: I know we're not making a fuss, but in the spirit of bachelorette parties, I made cookies in the shape of male genitals.
Penny: You really didn't have to- Whoa, that is anatomic.
Amy: Thank you. The veins are gummy worms.
Bernadette: Oh, look, Jewish and gentile.
Amy: I had extra dough.

Penny: Oh, that's Leonard. He said they're about to cross the border.
Bernadette: I hope the boys don't get too crazy in Mexico.
Penny: Oh, yeah, right. Lock up your daughters or Sheldon might lecture them about the North American Free Trade Agreement.
Amy: Boy, that was a long night for me.

Sheldon: Uh-oh. According to this Mexican Customs Web site, visitors may not bring more than five laser discs, 20 compact discs or 12 VHS tapes.
Raj: We don't have any of those.
Sheldon: How can you be sure? VHS was king when Feynman drove this van. For all we know, there are hidden compartments lousy with Jane Fonda workout videos.
Leonard: If there was a hidden compartment, don't you think you'd be stuffed in it by now?

Sheldon: Are we all up to date on our yellow fever inoculations?
Howard: You don't need a yellow fever shot to go to Mexico.
Sheldon: You can never be too careful. I got one last year before I went to Epcot.

Amy: So, Penny, how's married life?
Penny: Oh, it's good. I just wish Leonard would work up the courage to tell Sheldon he's moving in here.
Bernadette: You guys still aren't living together?
Penny: We are. I mean, he sleeps here. But it's only a matter of time before Sheldon has a bad dream and tries to climb into bed with the Leonard-shaped pile of pillows.

Bernadette: Speaking of Sheldon, how's single life treating you?
Amy: Fine, I guess. I've been focusing on me. I was thinking about changing my wardrobe.
Penny: Yes!
Bernadette: Good for you!
Amy: But then I decided I don't want to go changing who I am just because of some man.
Penny: Yes.
Bernadette: Good for you.
Penny: You know, it is normal to want to change your look after a breakup.
Amy: Actually, I was thinking of making one small change.
Bernadette: Your sweater?
Penny: Your glasses?
Bernadette: Your hair?
Penny: Your shoes.
Amy: Piercing my ears.

Amy: Piercing my ears.
Penny: Oh.
Bernadette: Oh, you really never had that done?
Amy: My mom said pierced ears were for whores, pirates and genies.
Penny: Okay, well, you're a grown woman now.
Amy: I know, but Sheldon had this clause in the Relationship Agreement forbidding cosmetic surgery unless it's to look like a Klingon.

Bernadette: We'll take you to the mall to get it done.
Penny: Why? I can do it right here.
Amy: Really? You have a piercing gun?
Penny: No. All you need is a needle and an ice cube. I've done it, like, a dozen times.
Amy: Oh, I don't know.
Penny: Oh, come on. I'll be gentle. Let me take your ear virginity.
Bernadette: This party's weird.

Leonard: Hey, watch your speed. I hear the Mexican police target tourists.
Howard: Oh, not a problem. If anything goes down, we just put Koothrappali in the driver's seat and slap a sombrero on his head.
Raj: Dude, how many races can you offend in a single breath?
Howard: I don't know. Have you watched the Olympics with me?

Leonard: Sheldon, can you believe that we're driving in a van that was owned by one of the greatest scientific minds of the 20th century?
It's like the Batmobile. If Batman was real and a physicist and his car wasn't cool.

Raj: Perhaps some of his mojo will rub off on us. Maybe between this and his beach house, we will be inspired to greatness.
Sheldon: I usually don't put too much stock in charms and talismans. However, even I must admit feeling Richard Feynman's butt dent cupping my own bottom that does get the creative juices flowing.
Howard: Hey, I have to return this van. Keep your creative juices in your pants.

Sheldon: What was that?
Howard: I think it's a tire.
Sheldon: What if it's banditos shooting at us? What if we get kidnapped? What if we end up in a factory making Bart Simpson pinatas for the rest of our lives?

Sheldon: Leonard?
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: I am getting too old for this crud.