Leonard Hofstadter Quotes Page 37 of 82
Quote from the episode The Big Bear Precipitation
Sheldon: Well, cell service is down to one bar, so if anyone needs medical attention or to tell a stranger their political views are stupid, now's the time.
Amy: Have you ever been off the grid before?
Sheldon: Once. The battery ran out on my phone. I had to wait for my iPad to turn on.
Leonard: I was afraid he was gonna eat me.
Quote from the episode The Big Bear Precipitation
Leonard: Why are you pretending to be outdoors? You hate it.
Sheldon: Oh, Amy showed me a compelling study that demonstrated the cognitive benefit of spending time in the wilderness.
Leonard: Buddy, I am ready to drive you into the wilderness any time you want and leave you there.
Quote from the episode The Fuzzy Boots Corollary
Wolowitz: So, how'd it go with Leslie?
Leonard: Oh, we tried kissing, but the earth didn't move. I mean any more than the 383 miles it was gonna move anyway.
Quote from the episode The Vartabedian Conundrum
Leonard: Where's my Bat Signal?
Penny: You have a Bat Signal?
Leonard: I did. It was right here. She must have- Oh, my God, we're living together.
Quote from the episode The Friendship Turbulence
Penny: I don't know what to say.
Leonard: Don't say anything. ... I mean you could say thank you, I did just buy you a car.
Quote from the episode The Perspiration Implementation
Sheldon: Besides, a bar is where I belong. I'm having female problems.
Leonard: If you're cranky and retaining water, I have a theory.
Quote from the episode The Apology Insufficiency
Penny: How long was it?
Leonard: 94 seconds.
Quote from the episode The Loobenfeld Decay
Sheldon: (Knocking) Leonard? Leonard? Leonard?
Leonard: Let it go, Sheldon. The murderer was the first mate whether it made sense to you or not.
Quote from the episode The Bad Fish Paradigm
Penny: It's just this is only our first date.
Leonard: Well, why don't we just figure out where we're going, and when we want to get there, and then rate of speed equals distance over time, solve for 'r'.
Penny: Or we could just wing it.
Quote from the episode The Bath Item Gift Hypothesis
Leonard: Okay, I have just one question for you. While I am perfectly happy with the way things are between us, you said that you didn't wanna go out with me because I was too smart for you. Well, news flash, lady: David Underhill is 10 times smarter than me. You'd have to drive a railroad spike into his head for me to beat him at checkers. Next to him, I'm one of those sign-language gorillas who knows how to ask for grapes. So my question is what's up with that?
Penny: (tearfully) Why are you yelling at me?
Leonard: Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Never mind, we're cool.
Quote from the episode The Recombination Hypothesis
Leonard: Penny and Leonard 2.0. We can test it internally, shake out the bugs, and if we both think it is solid, we roll it out to the public.
Quote from the episode The Vartabedian Conundrum
Howard: New pants?
Leonard: Yeah, Stephanie got them for me.
Howard: Nice. Cotton?
Leonard: Actually, I think it's more of a wool-fire ant blend.
Quote from the episode The Property Division Collision
Leonard: Hey, guys, what are you? Oh, that's here, cool.
Penny: Amy wants me to have it.
Amy: Well, it would be selfish of me to keep it.
Penny: But it's a picture of you.
Amy: And you.
Penny: But you commissioned it.
Amy: To give to you.
Penny: But you like it so much.
Amy: So do you.
Penny: I seem to be losing.
Leonard: Yes, you do.
Quote from the episode The D & D Vortex
Wil Wheaton: You come face to face with a massive monster with a gaping maw full of teeth, three huge legs, and flailing tentacles. What do you do?
William Shatner: Fellas, it looks like we're facing a, an otyugh. Here's the plan-
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar: Hold on there, Bill.
William Shatner: Now what, Kareem?
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar: How do we know it's not a Neo-otyugh?
William Shatner: Same way I know the difference between an owlbear and a bugbear. Does that answer your question?
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar: No.
Joe Manganiello: Look, there's one way to settle this: we chop it up and look at the pieces.
Kevin Smith: Oh, come on, why do you always got to attack everything? Why can't we just try talking to it?
Joe Manganiello: Big surprise, Podcast here wants to talk.
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar: What do you think, Leonard?
Leonard: I think this is the greatest day of my entire life.
William Shatner: It's all right, buddy, one day you'll meet a girl.
Quote from the episode The Property Division Collision
Sheldon: Wonderful, Longclaw is mine. And how about you keep our ... avocado plant?
Leonard: Sounds right. A limited edition collectible worth hundreds of dollars and a thing that grew out of a thing we fished from the trash.
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