Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 15 of 262
Quote from the episode The Luminous Fish Effect
Mary Cooper: Honey, why did you get a loom?
Sheldon: Well, I was working with luminous fish and I thought, hey, loom.
Quote from the episode The Pants Alternative
Sheldon: I recently had a dream that I was a giant. But everything around me was to scale so it all looked normal.
Leonard: Well, how did you know you were a giant if everything was to scale?
Sheldon: I was wearing size a million pants.
Quote from the episode Pilot
Penny: Would it be weird if I used your shower?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Yes.
Leonard: (to Sheldon) No!
Sheldon: No?
Leonard: No!
Sheldon: (to Penny) No.
Quote from the episode The Prestidigitation Approximation
Sheldon: So, you're saying this is a regulation deck?
Howard: I'm saying believe in magic, you muggle.
Quote from the episode The Desperation Emanation
Sheldon: You know it just occurred to me, if there are an infinite number of parallel universes, in one of them there's probably a Sheldon who doesn't believe parallel universes exist.
Leonard: Probably. What's your point?
Sheldon: No point. It's just one of those things that makes one of the me's chuckle.
Quote from the episode The Bad Fish Paradigm
Leonard: How could you just sit there and let them spy on me?
Sheldon: They were very smart. They used my complete lack of interest in what you are doing.
Quote from the episode The Locomotive Manipulation
Sheldon: What are the sleeping arrangements? We've only been dating for three years. If we were to share a room people might talk.
Quote from the episode The Tenure Turbulence
Sheldon: Well, that's a fine how-do-you-do. (To Amy) Don't just stand there. Take your breasts out.
Quote from the episode The Re-Entry Minimization
Penny: You're unbelievable.
Sheldon: I know.
Quote from the episode The Fortification Implementation
Sheldon: I'll get the blankets, you Google how to have child-like fun.
Quote from the episode The Transporter Malfunction
Sheldon: I thought where you come from they don't have emotions.
Spock Doll: I come from a factory in Taiwan.
Quote from the episode The Lunar Excitation
Sheldon: Incidentally, one can get beaten up in school simply by referring to oneself as one.
Quote from the episode The Junior Professor Solution
Leonard: Sheldon, I promise, your uvula does not have an STD.
Sheldon: Are you sure? It just doesn't feel as innocent as it used to.
Quote from the episode The Engagement Reaction
Sheldon: Howard, I have to go to the bathroom and no one will take me home.
Howard: What's wrong with the bathroom here?
Sheldon: Pneumococcus, streptococcus, staphylococcus and other assorted cocusses.
Howard: Sheldon, my mother is on her deathbed and my fiance is grief-stricken over putting her there. I'm NOT taking you home!
Sheldon: Will you at least go with me to the restroom here so you can open the door and flush the urinal?
Howard: No!
Sheldon: This might be a good time to point out, Howard, that friendship requires a certain give and take.
Quote from the episode The Justice League Recombination
Sheldon: (Knocking at Penny's door) Penny! Penny! Penny! Penny! Penny! Penny! Penny! Penny! Penny! Penny! Penny! Penny!
Penny: What the hell is wrong with you?
Sheldon: I'm the Flash, I just knocked 30 thousand times.
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