Sheldon QuotesPage 28 of 84

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Quote from the episode The Cooper-Nowitzki Theorem

Sheldon: (To Penny) Apparently, I'm in some kind of relationship, and, well, you seem to be an expect at ending them.
Penny: Excuse me?
Sheldon: I see man after man leaving this apartment never to return.
Penny: Okay, first of all, it is not man after man.

Quote from the episode The Grasshopper Experiment

Sheldon: Virgin diet cuba libre please.
Penny: OK.
Sheldon: In a tall glass with a lime wedge.
Penny: Oh I'll wedge it right in there.

Quote from the episode The Gorilla Experiment

Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.

Quote from the episode The Big Bran Hypothesis

Sheldon: I couldn't sleep knowing that just outside my bedroom is our living room and just outside our living room is that hallway and immediately adjacent to that hallway is this!
Leonard: Do you realize if Penny wakes up there's no reasonable explanation to why we are here?
Sheldon: I just gave you a reasonable explanation.
Leonard: No, no. You gave me an explanation. Its reasonableness will be determined by a jury of your peers.
Sheldon: Dont be silly I have no peers.

Quote from the episode The Engagement Reaction

Sheldon: I gargled with tequila. I may have swallowed a tiny bit.
Leonard: You all right?
Sheldon: Fine, thank you for asking. I love you so much.

Quote from the episode The Luminous Fish Effect

Mary Cooper: Sheldon's like a baby deer, you gotta let him come to you.

Quote from the episode The Boyfriend Complexity

Sheldon: *Sees Leonard & Penny kissing* Oh, frickity frack. Not this again.

Quote from the episode The Desperation Emanation

Sheldon: Amy Farrah Fowler, that's the most pragmatic thing anyone has ever said to me.

Quote from the episode The Cornhusker Vortex

Sheldon: That seems like an awful lot of trouble to go through for intercourse. Don't you have access to women who will do it for money?

Quote from the episode The Cooper-Hofstadter Polarization

Leonard: Oh, geez, does this suit really look that bad?
Sheldon: Forget your suit. Look at my arms flailing. I'm like a flamingo on Ritalin.

Quote from the episode The Dumpling Paradox

Sheldon: I'll watch the last 24 minutes of Doctor Who, although at this point it's more like Doctor Why Bother.

Quote from the episode The Justice League Recombination

Sheldon: Good Lord how you frustrate me Leonard Hofstadter!

Quote from the episode The Re-Entry Minimization

Sheldon: All games are made up. They're not found in nature. You don't just dig in the ground, and come across a rich vein of Rock'em Sock'em Robots.

Quote from the episode The Pants Alternative

Sheldon: Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip? To get to the same side. Bazinga!

Quote from the episode The Skank Reflex Analysis

Sheldon: Geology isn't a real science!

Quote from the episode The Classified Materials Turbulence

Sheldon: For what it's worth, my mother says that when we deceive for personal gain, we make Jesus cry.

Quote from the episode The Zazzy Substitution

Sheldon: I named him Zazzles because he's so zazzy.

Quote from the episode The Cooper Extraction

Sheldon: I've seen things. Lady things.
Amy: Listen to me. That is not the way they usually look!

Quote from the episode The Dumpling Paradox

Penny: Ugh, I cannot believe Christy let Howard into my apartment.
Sheldon: And I cannot believe people pay for horoscopes. But on a more serious note, it's 8:13 and we're still not playing "Halo".

Quote from the episode The Convention Conundrum

Sheldon: My friend Leonard said if I bothered you while you were eating, you'd think I was a creepy stalker.
James Earl Jones: Well, your friend Leonard sounds like a real weeny.
Sheldon: He is, Mr. Earl Jones. He is!

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