Sheldon Quotes Page 28 of 40

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Quote from the episode The Roommate Transmogrification

Sheldon: My hands are magic.

4.1

Quote from the episode The Agreement Dissection

Sheldon: It's hard to say no to Yoohoo, the name it literally beckons.

4.1

Quote from the episode The Pork Chop Indeterminacy

Missy: (Talking to the guys) He was trying to build some sort of armed robot to keep me out of his room.
Sheldon: Made necessary by her insistence on going into my room.

4.1

Quote from the episode The Middle-Earth Paradigm

Leonard: Why don't you just tell people you're a zebra?
Sheldon: Why don't you just tell people you're one of the seven dwarves?
Leonard: Because I'm Frodo.
Sheldon: Yes, well, I'm the Doppler effect.

4.1

Quote from the episode The Robotic Manipulation

Sheldon: So, this conversation is as pointless as your door knocking soliloquy?
Penny: Let me get my cockamamie keys.

4.1

Quote from the episode The Bat Jar Conjecture

Sheldon: I need my wrist brace. All this button pushing is aggravating my old Nintendo injury.

4.1

Quote from the episode The Ornithophobia Diffusion

Leonard: Do you think I'm overdressed?
Sheldon: It depends on the activity. For a prostate exam? Yes. If you're playing Vegas, I'd add sequins.

4.1

Quote from the episode The Alien Parasite Hypothesis

Sheldon: Yes, this is doctor Sheldon Cooper. Is this the Zack Johnson that used to have coitus with my neighbour Penny? Sorry to bother you. (to different person) Hello I'm looking for a Zack Johnson that used to have coitus with my neighbour Penny. Coitus. It means intercourse and I have a feeling I'm speaking to the right Zack.

4.1

Quote from the episode The Jerusalem Duality

Dr. Gablehauser: Okay, well, speaking of spreads, we're having a small welcoming party this afternoon for Mr. Kim who's agreed to join us here at the university.
Sheldon: Of course he has. The Oracle told us little Neo was the one. You can see the matrix, can't you?

4.1

Quote from the episode The Vengeance Formulation

Raj: Here comes Kripke.
Leonard: Who's that with him?
Raj: I believe that's the president of the university.
Leonard: And the board of directors. Abort! Abort!
Sheldon: There is no abort.
Raj: How could you not put in an abort?
Sheldon: I made a boo-boo, all right?

4.1

Quote from the episode The Big Bran Hypothesis

Leonard: If you don't have any other plans, do you want to join us for Thai food and a Superman movie marathon?
Penny: A marathon? Wow, how many Superman movies are there?
Sheldon: You're kidding, right?

4.1

Quote from the episode The Agreement Dissection

Sheldon: According to the Roommate Agreement, Paragraph 9, Subsection B: The right to bathroom privacy is suspended in the event of force majeure, and believe me, I am experiencing a very majeure force.

4.1

Quote from the episode The Griffin Equivalency

Sheldon: Hey! Look I found my missing nutrino.
Howard: Oh, great! We can take it off the milk carton.

4.1

Quote from the episode The Russian Rocket Reaction

Sheldon: [To Penny] You just got off the list, would you like back on it?

4.1

Quote from the episode The Justice League Recombination

Raj: Water Demon.
Howard: Ice Dragon.
Leonard: Lesser Warlord of Kaa.
Sheldon: Not so fast. Infinite Sheldon.
Leonard: Infinite Sheldon?
Sheldon: Yes, Infinite Sheldon defeats all other cards and does not violate the rule against homemade cards because I made it at work.
Leonard: Do you understand why people dont want to play with you?
Sheldon: No, although its a question Ive been pondering since preschool.

4.1

Quote from the episode The Panty Pinata Polarization

Penny: Where are my clothes?
Sheldon: Your clothes?
Penny: Yes. I left them in the washers and when I went down to get them, they were gone.
Sheldon: Really? Despite the sign that says: "Do not leave laundry unattended?"

4.1

Quote from the episode The Zarnecki Incursion

Leonard:You called the police because someone hacked your "World of Warcraft" account?
Sheldon:What choice did I have? The mighty Sheldor, level 85 blood elf, hero of the Eastern Kingdoms, has been picked clean like a carcass is the desert sun. Plus the FBI hung up on me.

4.1

Quote from the episode The Thanksgiving Decoupling

Leonard: Wait, you went to a chapel?
Penny: Yeah.
Leonard: Why?
Penny: We had one of those silly fake weddings.
Leonard: Penny, you know those are real, right?
Penny: No they're not.
Leonard: Yeah, they are.
Penny: No they're not.
Sheldon: He's right.
Amy: They're real.
Penny: But it didn't seem real.
Sheldon: Let me ask you a question. At any point was Las Vegas on its side?

4.1

Quote from the episode The Benefactor Factor

Sheldon: It's not a touch phobia, it's a germ phobia. If you'd like to put on a pair of latex gloves I'll let you check me for a hernia.

4.1

Quote from the episode The Codpiece Topology

Sheldon: Look on the bright side.
Leonard: What's the bright side?
Sheldon: Only 9 more months to Comic-Con.

4.1

Quote from the episode The Launch Acceleration

Sheldon: There is only one mind expanding drug this man enjoys, and that's called school.

4.1

Quote from the episode The Dumpling Paradox

Sheldon: If we're all through playing "Mock the Flawed Technology", can we get on with Halo Night? We were supposed to start at 8, it is now 8:06.

4.1

Quote from the episode The Cooper-Hofstadter Polarization

Leonard: Okay, I'm going ask you one more time. We did the work together, let's present the paper together.
Sheldon: And I'm telling you for the last time, it's pandering, it's undignified, and bite me.

4.1

Quote from the episode The Thespian Catalyst

Sheldon: I sense that you're trying to slow walk me to an epiphany. Would you mind very much jumping to it.

4.1

Quote from the episode The Nerdvana Annihilation

Penny: I'm running really late (to work).
Sheldon: Then I have a simple solution: Go up to the roof, hop over to next building, there's a small gap, don't look if you suffer of vertigo, and use their stairwell.
Penny: You are joking, right?
Sheldon: Oh, I never joke when it comes to vertigo.

4.1

Quote from the episode The Loobenfeld Decay

Penny sing "Out Tonight"!
Leonard: What the hell is that?
Sheldon: I don't know, but if cats could sing ... they'd hate it too.

4.1

Quote from the episode The Toast Derivation

Sheldon: At one point Raj put on reggae music and his sister took off her shoes. It was like the last days of Caligula.

4.1

Quote from the episode The Roommate Transmogrification

Sheldon: Will you Boozehounds stop that infernal clinking? And the Answer was Elephant.

4

Quote from the episode The Bozeman Reaction

Sheldon: I'm fine. I'm no longer master of my own bladder.

4

Quote from the episode The Bad Fish Paradigm

Sheldon: Why don't you just take your clothes down to the river and beat them with a rock.

4

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