Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 28 of 152

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Quote from the episode The Flaming Spittoon Acquisition

Sheldon: I'm not sure how to respond, Leonard. I don't own Amy. You can't own a person, at least not since?
*Leonard stares at him*
Sheldon: 1863. When President Lincoln freed the?
*Leonard looks fed up*
Sheldon: Slaves. Come on, Leonard. If you're gonna teach history, these are the kind of facts you'll have to know.

Quote from the episode The 21-Second Excitation

Sheldon: This is where we could've been if we hadn't stopped for dinner. This is where we could've been if Koothrapali hadn't ordered dessert.
Raj: I earned it, I ate all my brocolli.

Quote from the episode The Staircase Implementation

Sheldon: What's the sixth noble gas?
Leonard: Uh, radon?
Sheldon: Are you asking me or telling me?
Leonard: Telling you?
(Sheldon gives Leonard a stern look)
Leonard: Telling you.

Quote from the episode The Cruciferous Vegetable Amplification

Penny: Hey. Nice knees.
Sheldon: Thank you! They're my mother's.

Quote from the episode The Large Hadron Collision

Sheldon: Given that Saint Valentine was a 3rd century Roman priest who was stoned and beheaded, wouldn't a more appropriate celebration of the evening be taking one's steady gal to witness a brutal murder?

Quote from the episode The Friendship Algorithm

Sheldon: What part of an inverse tangent approaching an asymptote don't you understand?

Quote from the episode The Zarnecki Incursion

Sheldon: I've never said these words before, but good job, Howard.

Quote from the episode The Friendship Algorithm

Sheldon: "Barney Bunny has two daddies now." Probably something about homosexual rabbits.

Quote from the episode The Bad Fish Paradigm

Penny: So, do you think that if Leonard and I keep dating, Leonard would get bored with me?
Sheldon: That depends.
Penny: On what?
Sheldon: Do you have a working knowledge on Quantum Physics?
Penny: No.
Sheldon: Do you speak Klingon?
Penny: No.
Sheldon: Do you know any card tricks?

Quote from the episode The Herb Garden Germination

Leonard: Hope you're hungry.
Sheldon: Interesting, a friendly sentiment in this country - a cruel taunt in the Sudan.

Quote from the episode The Pancake Batter Anomaly

Leonard: Sheldon, you are not sick. This is, but you are not.
Sheldon: We have no idea what pathogens Typhoid Penny has introduced into our environment. And having never been to Nebraska, I'm certain I have no corn-husking antibodies.
Leonard: Sheldon, don't you think you're overreacting?
Sheldon: When I'm lying comatose in a hospital relying on inferior minds to cure me, these gelatin cultures and my accompanying notes will give them a fighting chance.
*Sheldon holds a Q-tip toward his mouth for Leonard to swab*

Quote from the episode The Gothowitz Deviation

Leonard: Sheldon, you need to find a better way of dealing with Penny.
Sheldon: What am I supposed to do? Eat French Toast on a Monday? Now that would be impossible.

Quote from the episode The Benefactor Factor

Sheldon: An entire dinner to talk about your research? Where you going? The drive thru at Jack In The Box?

Quote from the episode The Pancake Batter Anomaly

Sheldon: Anyway, the housekeeper in the faculty residence didn't speak any English. When I finally managed to convince her I was sick, she said, "Machtest du ein Darm sputum?"
Penny: What does that mean?
Sheldon: Based on what happened next, I assume it means, "Would you like an enema?"

Quote from the episode The Lunar Excitation

Sheldon: With skin as fair as mine, moon burn is a real possibility.
Howard: That's a bazinga, right?
Sheldon: One of my best, don't you think?

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