Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 28 of 202

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Quote from the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Sheldon: Because there's only one of me, I'm more valuable.
Penny: Right.
Sheldon: Although, Amy's already taken me out of my package and played with me.

Quote from the episode The Excelsior Acquisition

Sheldon: That's the toilet?
Policeman: Well, it ain't a wishin' well!
Sheldon: Please tell the judge I'm ready to apologize.

Quote from the episode The Large Hadron Collision

Sheldon: Given that Saint Valentine was a 3rd century Roman priest who was stoned and beheaded, wouldn't a more appropriate celebration of the evening be taking one's steady gal to witness a brutal murder?

Quote from the episode The Zarnecki Incursion

Todd Zarnecki: Who is it?
Sheldon: Your doom.

Quote from the episode The Good Guy Fluctuation

Sheldon: "See you in hell Sheldon"? The most frightening thing about that is the missing comma.

Quote from the episode The Vacation Solution

Sheldon: Boy, oh, boy. This vacation is off to a wonderful start. The smell of formaldehyde, the whir of the centrifuge, the distant chatter of lab animals being dispatched for dissection. Mm, I can already feel my cares just melting away.
Amy: I'm excited to work with my boyfriend. It's going to be romantic.
Sheldon: Way to kill the mood.

Quote from the episode The Bad Fish Paradigm

Sheldon: I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack.

Quote from the episode The Excelsior Acquisition

Sheldon: I would point out that I am at the top of my profession, while you preside over the kiddie table of yours.

Quote from the episode The 21-Second Excitation

Sheldon: Hello. Well, this seems like an odd time to test my cell phone quality but go on. Test phrases. All right. Imatote. Ulba. Twad. All together? All right. I'm a total butt wad. Why are you laughing? Hello?
Penny: And that girls is how you make a phony phone call.

Quote from the episode The Flaming Spittoon Acquisition

Sheldon: I'm not sure how to respond, Leonard. I don't own Amy. You can't own a person, at least not since?
*Leonard stares at him*
Sheldon: 1863. When President Lincoln freed the?
*Leonard looks fed up*
Sheldon: Slaves. Come on, Leonard. If you're gonna teach history, these are the kind of facts you'll have to know.

Quote from the episode The 21-Second Excitation

Sheldon: This is where we could've been if we hadn't stopped for dinner. This is where we could've been if Koothrapali hadn't ordered dessert.
Raj: I earned it, I ate all my brocolli.

Quote from the episode The Staircase Implementation

Sheldon: What's the sixth noble gas?
Leonard: Uh, radon?
Sheldon: Are you asking me or telling me?
Leonard: Telling you?
(Sheldon gives Leonard a stern look)
Leonard: Telling you.

Quote from the episode The Cruciferous Vegetable Amplification

Penny: Hey. Nice knees.
Sheldon: Thank you! They're my mother's.

Quote from the episode The Adhesive Duck Deficiency

Sheldon: I'm sorry. There there. Everything's gonna be okay. Sheldon's here.

Quote from the episode The Friendship Algorithm

Sheldon: What part of an inverse tangent approaching an asymptote don't you understand?

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