Sheldon: Ten years ago upon first seeing me, your husband claimed that I looked like C3P0 and Peewee Herman. And he called me C3Peewee Herman.

Amy: Sheldon, it's the American way, the peaceful transfer of power.
Sheldon: I don't know.
Leonard: Think about Ant-Man.
Sheldon: I'm always thinking about Ant-Man.
Leonard: Michael Douglas had the suit and then he passed it on to Paul Rudd.
Sheldon: Maybe you're right.
Amy: Really? The Ant-Man thing? That's what won you over?
Sheldon: Yes. He got the details right. That's how you use a superhero.

Amy: I'm trying to get our grant proposal together. Any chance you've finished up those mechanical drawings?
Howard: Oh, sorry. I was gonna do it last night, but I got kind of busy.
Raj: Yeah, you did.
Amy: What are they talking about?
Sheldon: I'll give you a hint. It's something that we have done four times.
Amy: Watched La La Land?
Sheldon: What? No. No. I've not watched La La Land four times. If you find the soundtrack on my phone, that's just 'cause our iTunes accounts are linked.

Sheldon: And worse than that, Edison filmed the first on-screen kiss, so he's basically a pornographer. Although every time I put that in Wikipedia, someone takes it out.

Amy: Hey, good news. They're inviting several Nobel Laureates to our reception.
Sheldon: Oh, great, like who?
Amy: Uh, Makoto Kobayashi.
Sheldon: Ooh.
Amy: What?
Sheldon: Well, I may have been less than kind to him about his Nobel Prize win.
Amy: Why?
Sheldon: I was jealous, angry and new to Twitter. It was a dangerous combination.
Amy: Okay, so scratch Kobayashi.

Leonard: Raj, no, it's a trap. They're flanking us!
Raj: Oooh, he's got me.
Howard: Sheldon, he's got Raj. Use your sleep spell. Sheldon! Sheldon!
Sheldon: I've got the Sword of Azeroth!
Leonard: Forget the sword, Sheldon, help Raj.
Sheldon: There is no more Sheldon. I am the Swordmaster!

Howard: Our culprit is one Mr. Todd Zarnecki, 2711 Ocean View Road, Carlsbad, California.
Sheldon: The name and the address drip with evil.

Sheldon: It's not the same thing. I don't think you know how I feel at all.
Leonard: Sad?
Sheldon: Hmm, you do get me.

Bernadette: So your evil plan here is to buy your girlfriend a present?
Sheldon: That's right. So stay on my good side, or maybe I'll get you a little something, too.

Sheldon: You're awfully quiet.
Leonard: Sorry.
Sheldon: No, I like it.
Leonard: Got a lot on my mind.
Sheldon: Would you like to talk about it?
Leonard: Not really.
Sheldon: Grape Nuts for breakfast, quiet car ride, things are really breaking my way today.

Sheldon: That was fun. It was like Mario Kart.

Sheldon: Now to business. Eighteen years ago, I sent the FBI Crime Lab samples from a bag of excrement that had been lit on fire on my front porch for fingerprinting and DNA analysis. Why haven't I heard back yet?
Agent Page: Well, the FBI Crime Lab does have a lot on its plate.
Sheldon: That's of little comfort to a nation attempting to scrape burning faeces off its shoes.

Amy: It's weird. I don't really feel different, but I guess our lives will never be the same.
Sheldon: Oh, I don't know. We're going to work like always. I still put my pants on both legs at a time.
Amy: One day that's gonna end very badly.

Leonard: No, her bed kind of ... broke.
Sheldon: That doesn't seem likely. Her bed's of sturdy construction. Even the addition
of a second normal size human being wouldn't cause a structural failure, much less a homunculus such as yourself.
Penny: A homunculus?
Leonard: Perfectly formed miniature human being.

Sheldon: You just lied to Penny.
Leonard: Yes, I did.
Sheldon: And you did it so casually. No rapid breathing, no increase in perspiration.
Leonard: So?
Sheldon: So, lack of physiological response while lying is a characteristic of a violent sociopath.
Leonard: Sheldon, are you worried about your safety?
Sheldon: No. I imagine if you were going to kill me, you'd have done it a long time ago.