Stuart Bloom Quotes Page 6 of 6

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Showing quotes 76 to 89 of 89Sort by  popularity | date added | episode

Quote from the episode The Scavenger Vortex

Stuart: So, when you guys plan fun activities, does my name even come up or ...?
Raj: I invited you to my murder mystery party.
Stuart: No, you didn't.
Raj: Oh.

Quote from the episode The Perspiration Implementation

Amy: Stuart, believe it or not, I understand. You know, before I met Sheldon, I was alone for a really long time. I was so desperate for people to like me, when I met these guys, it took everything in my power to hide my insecurity.
Stuart: Okay, we're all feeling it. Yes, I'll go out with you.

Quote from the episode The Raiders Minimization

Stuart: Aw man, if I'd started this years ago I'd be divorced two or three times by now.

Quote from the episode The Matrimonial Momentum

Stuart: I know what you're going through. My last break-up was pretty tough.
Amy: Oh, what was her name?
Stuart: Hey, it's a true story. I don't need the third degree.

Quote from the episode The Santa Simulation

Stuart: I gotta tell you, this is the most holiday fun I've had since my therapist changed my anxiety medication and I stopped caring about the blood in my stool.
Howard: Good story.

Quote from the episode The Opening Night Excitation

Leonard: Hey, Stuart, got any plans Thursday night?
Stuart: My doctor's worried about my circulation so I was thinking about walking around the mall.

Quote from the episode The Sales Call Sublimation

Stuart: (from outside the room) You guys got a minute, or are you still cuddling?
Howard: What is it, Stuart?
Stuart: Can I come in?
Howard: Hang on. (quietly) Should I send him away?
Bernadette: No, it's okay.
Stuart: (from outside the room) Thanks, Bernie.

Quote from the episode The Status Quo Combustion

Sheldon: Can you break a twenty?
Stuart: No, I only have hundreds.
Sheldon: You know what. I don't always recognize sarcasm, but I do right now and I don't appreciate it. I'm sorry for your loss, but you're not the only one whose day's been a disaster.

Quote from the episode The Perspiration Implementation

Bernadette: So how can we help?
Stuart: Well, I know more women are buying comics than ever, but for some reason, I can't get 'em in here.
Penny: All right. Well, what have you tried so far?
Stuart: Uh, I've been stocking more female-oriented titles. In the bathroom, I folded the end of the toilet paper into a triangle. And, uh, you are now sitting in the official breastfeeding area.

Quote from the episode The Perspiration Implementation

Amy: Have you thought about advertising directly to females?
Stuart: Hmm, okay. Well, all right. What if I put up a sign in the window that said, "Women, come in. Don't be afraid."?

Quote from the episode The Perspiration Implementation

Stuart: I mean, what can I do? I get so nervous around women.
Penny: Well, you're talking to us now. I mean, you don't seem nervous.
Stuart: Well, that's 'cause I'm doing that trick where you imagine the audience is naked. By the way, thumbs up, ladies.
Amy: Do you not hear how creepy that sounds?
Stuart: It was a joke.
Bernadette: Was it?
Stuart: No, I'm still doing it.

Quote from the episode The Escape Hatch Identification

Bernadette: Nobody needs a mooch living in their house forever.
Stuart: Hey, that's no way to talk about your baby.

Quote from the episode The Matrimonial Momentum

Amy: I just hope I did the right thing.
Stuart: I'm sure you did. Maybe that's the problem, you always do the right thing. Maybe it's time to do the wrong thing?
Amy: Like you're doing right now?
Stuart: Exactly.

Quote from the episode The Matrimonial Momentum

Bernadette: What happened? They just got married.
Howard: I don't know. It's a mess. They had a huge fight in Vegas.
Bernadette: You think they'll break up?
Howard: I don't know. Sounds pretty bad. Penny's back in her apartment all by herself.
Stuart: Really?

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