Raj: I'm the son of a gynecologist. I could be helpful.
Bernadette: It would help if you stopped telling me I have a textbook cervix.
Raj: The polite response is, "Thank you for noticing."

Sheldon: Uh, I know it's not your birthday, but if you're interested-
Amy: I am.
Sheldon: Okay. Oh, and just to be clear, I'm not being intimate with you in order to keep you from going.
Amy: I wasn't thinking that.
Sheldon: Well, no, it's just, I'm just warning you, you know, if you find yourself 3,000 miles away and craving a hit of this, you know I can't Skype it to you.
Amy: That's a risk I'm willing to take.
Sheldon: All right, then.

Amy: What are you looking at?
Sheldon: Comments from our Behind the Flags retrospective. Get this, people are calling it "the longest one yet".

Raj: Maybe moving in was a bad idea. I haven't been here one day, I'm already causing problems.
Penny: You didn't do anything. It's Sheldon.
Leonard: "You didn't do anything.It's Sheldon." That'd make a nice needlepoint pillow.

Raj: I'd love a personal trainer. I haven't seen my abs since they opened a Shake Shack on my drive home.

Bernadette: Things going well with you and Sheldon living together?
Amy: Better than ever. He asks about my day, takes an interest in my life. He's like my boyfriend in college, except he's real, so people can see him.
Bernadette: I've been seeing him for years. I'm still not convinced he's real.

Penny: All right, this is making me crazy. Somebody's got to go over there.
Leonard: You got feet and legs, you do it.

Amy: Aww, I remember signing our first Relationship Agreement.
Sheldon: You seem to be forgetting the "no nostalgia" clause.

Penny: Uh, what's new?
Zack: Oh, tons of stuff. Put artificial grass in my backyard, got engaged, had a scary mole that turned out to be Sharpie.
Penny: Well, congratulations.
Zack: That's what my dermatologist said.
Penny: No, on getting engaged, good for you.
Zack: Oh, thanks.

Leonard: Oh, it's just nice to be with people who are happy to have me around. Isn't that right, Halley?
*Halley starts crying*
Howard: Well, at least someone had the courage to say it.

Howard: Learning anything?
Bernadette: Well, sloth babies cling to their mothers' bodies for almost a year. I'm going back to work after only four months. So, I've learned I hate myself, I hate sloths, and I hate you for bringing me here.

Sheldon: He also has a remarkable amount of credit card debt.
Howard: I thought your dad paid your cards.
Raj: I have a card for emergencies that I pay for myself.
Sheldon: What emergency happened at the L.A. Zoo?
Raj: That's a penguin I sponsor. They're losing their homes to global warming, and my car gets, like, seven miles a gallon, so I felt bad.

Bernadette: This is ridiculous. The doctor knows what the baby is, the ultrasound tech knows, Raj knows, his Grey's Anatomy online fan group probably knows.

Sheldon: I am not proud of this. But I have been envious of your recent success.
Bert: Wow, I won the MacArthur Grant, everyone's jealous of me. Once I get LASIK, I'll be out of things to wish for.

Bernadette: It's okay, I'm just being emotional about this. Can you not tell Howard?
Stuart: Well, don't you think it'd be healthier if you told him what's going on with you?
Bernadette: Don't you think it'd be healthier if you had your own apartment, grown man?
Stuart: Your secret is safe with me.