Sheldon: I knew we should've never mentioned us living together in the first place.
Amy: She was gonna find out eventually.
Sheldon: Disagree. We've known about evolution since 1859. She still believes in Noah and his amazing zoo boat.

Bernadette: Well, my boss said he hadn't decided yet, so I gently reminded him that he's an old rich white guy, and I'm a sweet little pregnant lady who's not afraid to cry in front of a jury.

Bernadette: Apple slices? What kind of lunatic goes to McDonald's and gets fruit?

Sheldon: Amy is free. She had a harp lesson on Saturday, but it got canceled. Boy, when you take an interest in people, you really uncork a geyser of nonsense.

Sheldon: Stuart, wait. I do know what it feels like to be left out.
Bert: I know how it feels, too.
Sheldon: All right, this is about me and him; you're not part of it.

Leonard: I would pull this car over and kick you out, but if Penny dumps me, you're all I got.

Leonard: He really worked with the Drug Enforcement Agency?
Penny: He didn't know it 'til he was cuffed, but yeah.

Penny: Do they know why the pipes burst?
Amy: They didn't say.
Leonard: Buildings that have a combination of copper and galvanized steel are susceptible to pinholes and corrosion caused by the mobility of ions in the water. Can't have your head shoved in a toilet as much as I did and not pick up a few things about plumbing.

Stuart: I also love how you never use swear words.
Sheldon: You know, it turns out, you can hurt people just as well without 'em.

Althea: Now I see three of you. Do we know the father, or is this some Mamma Mia nonsense?

Amy: Sheldon, your mother's an attractive woman. You need to get used to the fact that men are going to be interest in her.
Sheldon: Well, and you need to drive the car and mind your business.
Amy: I will not have you be disrespectful to me.
Sheldon: What- you're not my mother.
Mary Cooper: Don't you be disrespectful to her.
Sheldon: Yes ma'am.
Mary Cooper: You'll get there. You've just gotta put some zing on it.

Sheldon: This is for you. I was going to wrap it, but touching Scotch tape gives me the heebie-jeebies.
Amy: I'll put in on the list with peaches and felt.

Sheldon: Well, I think it's very nice that you're helping out our friend.
Leonard: I think it's nice that you're taking whatever medication Amy's clearly giving you.

Penny: The new neighbors are weird.

Raj: What's the worst that could come of this meeting?
Howard: I don't know. They take the invention away, and I get nothing?
Raj: Okay, that's not so bad. You know what happened to the scientists that worked on the Manhattan Project? The government forced them to move to the desert. They had to live in secret, and when Oppenheimer objected to what they made him do, they destroyed his reputation.
Howard: What's the point of that story?
Raj: I just read a book about Oppenheimer, seemed like a chance to show off.