Mrs. Wolowitz It's this dress. When I put my front in, my back pops out. When I put my back in, my front pops out. It's like trying to keep two dogs in a bathtub.
Sheldon: What do you want me to do?
Mrs. Wolowitz We're gonna have to work as a team. Get in here, grab a handful and start stuffing.

Mrs Wolowitz: Howard, your Froot Loops are getting soggy!

Mrs. Wolowitz: That's right. Go back to Babylon, you whore!

Mrs. Wolowitz: Over my dead body my son goes into outer space.

Mrs. Wolowitz: Okay then, you kids have fun. Use protection!

Mrs. Wolowitz: Frankly, after all your sleepovers with the little brown boy, a girl is a big relief!

Raj: I've had a lovely time eating your brisket and hearing about the things you've had removed from your body over the years. Didn't know you could have a cyst inside another cyst.
Mrs. Wolowitz: The doctor said they were like Russian nesting dolls.

Mrs. Wolowitz: Howard, answer the door! I'm busy!
Howard: I'm busy too. You answer it.
Mrs. Wolowitz: I can't! I'm on the toilet!
Howard: For God's sake, I don't need to hear that! Can't you just say, "I'm busy"?
Mrs. Wolowitz: I said I'm busy, but that wasn't good enough for you!
Howard: You know what? I hope it's one of those home invasion deals, and they shoot me in the head.
Mrs. Wolowitz: Well, if it's a home invader, don't tell them I'm on the toilet!

Mrs. Wolowitz Howard, get the door.
Howard: Why can't you get it?
Mrs. Wolowitz You know I'm doing a bowel cleanse for my colonoscopy. I'm like an upside-down volcano here.

Howard: Ma, I'm putting you on speaker-phone with Raj's parents. Can you tell them that you're okay with me going to the Arctic?
Mrs. Wolowitz Arctic? I thought you said Arkansas.

Mrs. Wolowitz Hey, if she's willing to give the milk away for free, who am I to say no?

Sheldon: I would throw a quick slant to a wide out, given that the defense is showing blitz.
Howard: Oh, I love a good blitz especially with sour cream.
Howard: Get it? Because it sounds like blintz.
Mrs. Wolowitz Did someone say blintz?

Mrs. Wolowitz: Make up all you want. Your tuchus is not leaving this planet.

Mrs. Wolowitz: You know what, I'll buy you All-Bran in case you get stopped up in outer space.

Howard: Ma, I'm home! Where are you?
Mrs. Wolowitz: I'm in the toilet.
Howard: So, how'd it go?
Mrs. Wolowitz: Too soon to say. I'm not done yet.
Howard: No, I mean lunch, today, with Bernadette.
Mrs. Wolowitz: Oh! I had a pastrami sandwich. She had eggplant lasagna. Like that's what a person orders in a Jewish deli.