Mrs. Wolowitz Hey, if she's willing to give the milk away for free, who am I to say no?

Mrs. Wolowitz Senior fitness was canceled. It turns out you can forget how to ride a bike. I'm fine, but, oy, did Sam Harpoolian eat gravel.
Howard: That's great, Ma!
Mrs. Wolowitz: What's great about an 80-year-old Armenian man with half his chin scraped off?

Mary Cooper: Lord, thank You. Even though You can do anything, that was mighty impressive.

Mrs Wolowitz: Howard, your Froot Loops are getting soggy!

Howard: Ma, I'm putting you on speaker-phone with Raj's parents. Can you tell them that you're okay with me going to the Arctic?
Mrs. Wolowitz Arctic? I thought you said Arkansas.

Mrs. Wolowitz Howard, get the door.
Howard: Why can't you get it?
Mrs. Wolowitz You know I'm doing a bowel cleanse for my colonoscopy. I'm like an upside-down volcano here.

Sheldon: I would throw a quick slant to a wide out, given that the defense is showing blitz.
Howard: Oh, I love a good blitz especially with sour cream.
Howard: Get it? Because it sounds like blintz.
Mrs. Wolowitz Did someone say blintz?

Mrs. Wolowitz: Okay then, you kids have fun. Use protection!

Mrs. Wolowitz: Frankly, after all your sleepovers with the little brown boy, a girl is a big relief!

Howard: Hey, ma, you got to rent me a tux!
Mrs. Wolowitz: Right now? What kind of sex are you having up there?

Mrs. Wolowitz: You know what, I'll buy you All-Bran in case you get stopped up in outer space.

Raj: I've had a lovely time eating your brisket and hearing about the things you've had removed from your body over the years. Didn't know you could have a cyst inside another cyst.
Mrs. Wolowitz: The doctor said they were like Russian nesting dolls.

Howard: Ma, I'm home! Where are you?
Mrs. Wolowitz: I'm in the toilet.
Howard: So, how'd it go?
Mrs. Wolowitz: Too soon to say. I'm not done yet.
Howard: No, I mean lunch, today, with Bernadette.
Mrs. Wolowitz: Oh! I had a pastrami sandwich. She had eggplant lasagna. Like that's what a person orders in a Jewish deli.

Howard: Besides food, did you get along? Did you talk?
Mrs. Wolowitz: Oh, sure. Did you know she's going to school to become a microbiologist?
Howard: No, she never mentioned it.
Mrs. Wolowitz: I bet she did and you didn't listen.

Howard: So, what do you think? Do you like her? She's great, huh?
Mrs. Wolowitz: She's a lovely girl. Cute as a button.
Howard: That's good to hear, 'cause I've got some news.
Mrs. Wolowitz: I hope it's good news, because I've got nothing but disappointment in here!