Leonard: Raj, no, it's a trap. They're flanking us!
Raj: Oooh, he's got me.
Howard: Sheldon, he's got Raj. Use your sleep spell. Sheldon! Sheldon!
Sheldon: I've got the Sword of Azeroth!
Leonard: Forget the sword, Sheldon, help Raj.
Sheldon: There is no more Sheldon. I am the Swordmaster!

Leonard: Great. Did we say a time?
Penny: Six thirty.
Leonard: And that's still good for you?
Penny: It's fine.
Leonard: Cos it's not carved in stone.
Penny: No, six thirtys great.
Leonard: I'll get my chisel.
Penny: Why?
Leonard: To ... carve the ... okay, I'll see you six thirty.

Leonard: Oh, who am I kidding? I can't go through with this, you need to call her and cancel.
Sheldon: Me?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: What should I tell her?
Leonard: I don't know. Tell her I'm sick.
Sheldon: Okay.
Leonard: Not the kind of illness that will make her want to come over and take care of me, but nothing so critical that she'll feel uncomfortable going out with me in the future if I want to try this again.
Sheldon: Got it. So I'm assuming nothing venereal. I'll just tell her that you had a routine colonoscopy and haven't quite bounced back.

Raj: You can't find a bagel in Mumbai to save your life.

Sheldon: Waitresses don't yell at you at Big Boy.

Penny: Leonard's had girls over before, right?
Sheldon: Oh, yes, but there's usually planning, courtship and advance notice. Last time I was able to book a cruise to the Arctic to see a solar eclipse.
Penny: Wait, you had to leave the state because your roommate was having sex?
Sheldon: I didn't have to, the dates just happened to coincide.

Sheldon: I don't come into your house and touch your board.
Leslie: There are no incorrect equations on my board.
Sheldon: Oh, that is so... so...
Leslie: I'm sorry, I've got to run. If you come up with an adjective, text me.

Penny: So, how was paint ball? Did you have fun?
Sheldon: If you consider being fragged by your own troops fun. (To Howard) You clear a space on your calendar. There will be an inquiry.

Sheldon: If we're all through playing "Mock the Flawed Technology", can we get on with Halo Night? We were supposed to start at 8, it is now 8:06.

Leonard: You have a TV in your room. Why don't you have breakfast in bed?
Sheldon: Because I am neither an invalid nor a woman celebrating Mother's Day.

Mrs. Wolowitz: That's right. Go back to Babylon, you whore!

Howard: Is it me or does web-chatting with your clothes on seem a little pointless?

Sheldon: You know, in the future, when we're disembodied brains in jars, we're going to look back on this as eight hours well wasted.
Raj: I don't want to be in a jar. I want my brain in an android body. Eight feet tall and ripped.
Howard: I'm with you. I just have to make sure if I'm a synthetic human I'd still be Jewish. I promised my mother.
Raj: I suppose you could have your android penis circumcised. But that's something your Rabbi would have to discuss with the manufacturers.
Sheldon: Not to mention you'd have to power down on Saturdays.

Leonard: Okay, if I may drill down to the bedrock of my question, why did you throw it out?
Sheldon: Because I have no interest in standing in the Rose Room of the Pasadena Marriott in front of a group of judgmental strangers, who wouldn't recognize true genius if it were standing in front of them giving a speech. Which, if I were there, it would be.

Penny: Is this your only tie?
Leonard: Ah. Technically yes, but, if you'll notice, it's reversible. So it works as two.
Penny: Oh, sweetie, I don't think it even works as one.